Tuesday, February 12, 2008
This topic was a long time coming for me. I mean, who enjoys recycled catchphrases and 1970's song title nicknames? He's been doing the same hack crap for 20+ years now and I was sick of it 10 years ago. For some reason, though, ESPN keep trotting him on screen like the face of the company that he supposedly is. He must have dirt on the ESPN honchos. Either way, this is an easy Middle Finger today. If you stopped by yesterday, or been anywhere throughout the blogosphere in the past week, you've seen the insane videos that are making the rounds. Simply put, he's a jerk.
And that's why this week's Middle Finger goes to the gin-soaked Chris Berman.
Since you all have likely seen his newly surfaced videos, I've come to the realization that Berman is ESPN's real-life version of Ron Burgundy. Think about it, can you not picture him throwing out "Gun Show" jokes and serenading whores with his flute skills.? He walks around Bristol with an erection and blames his pants. Treating women like sexual conquests, talking constantly about his love of scotch, and his ownership of many leather-bound books? I think that the Burgundy/Berman analogy is a pretty fair one, no?
But let's talk for a moment about how out of touch he is. When was the last time that you laughed at one of his clever nicknames? It's been awhile, hasn't it? Whether it be Jim "Two Silhouettes On" DeShaies, Joaquin "The Dog" Andujar, or Rafael "Emerson, Lake, and" Palmiero, they are all way outdated and retarded. Nobody under the age of 20 has any idea what he's talking about. You just know that he prays for Lito Sheppard to have a big game so he can sing some Boz Scaggs on The Blitz that night. Boz Scaggs!!! Man, he sure does get his audience.
And of course, who can forget the iconic legend of "You're With Me, Leather"? If you're unfamiliar with this cautionary tale, give the link a read. You won't be sorry.
Berman is now doing a nightly Sportscenter segment called The Greatest Highlight or something like that. Terrible. Whatever. I hate him.
I'm calling off the dogs early today because I could talk about my hatred for Berman all day if I wanted to. Leave me some love in the comments on your least favorite Berman-ism's if you'd like.
Enjoy your Middle Finger, Christopher, you've earned this one. 20+ years of being shitty...and still going strong.