Wednesday, February 27, 2008

The Hump Day Hump



Every Wednesday, we here at The Money Shot run down some stories that aren't "full topic worthy" in a bullet-pointed fashion. The results are delightful.

This week, the "Tony LaRussa would like for you to take a ride with him...he's got the Maker's Mark" Edition.

***It felt like Tim Donaghy was back - I normally don't like to bitch about officiating because it's just an excuse for poor play. But, come on, that was ridiculous. The new look Cavs lost their first game last night in Milwaukee where the 22-35 Bucks received every freaking call. The Bucks have no one inside that can draw contact (Bogut sucks) yet somehow they are a 37-14 winner in the free throw margin. Ridiculous. Ben Wallace and Our King were getting tackled in the paint and it was not being called. By the way, I hate Michael Redd. I can't believe that that shit shot went in. I can't remember the last time the Cavs lost at the buzzer, it's always the other way around. Down the dial, kudos to the SEC crew that ruined the Tennessee/Vanderbilt game by allowing almost 70 free throw attempts and slowing the game down to a crawl. Let them play. They allowed it in Bad News Bear at the Astrodome, let them play. Swallow the freakin whistle. Hell, at least they were about even. How the fuck are the Milwaukee Bucks getting calls!!!

***Stress Fracture: Ancient Chinese Secret, huh? - Bad news out of Houston that Chairman Yao Ming is out for the rest of the season with a stress fracture. That sucks for the Rockets who will likely miss the playoffs now. The hottest team in the league kept it up by disposing of the shitty Wizards last night, but I expect a freefall. Don't get me wrong, I love Dikembe Mutombo's finger wagging, but you ain't gonna see that come April and May.

***Tony LaRussa is smarter/drunker than you - This something that I don't get. LaRussa is going to hit his pitchers 8th in the order this season. He has done this in the past and I still don't get it. Why would you want your pitchers to get more at bats than a position player? Is your 8/9 hitter that bad? His logic is that he wants a second leadoff hitter in the lineup and that it turns Pujols into a cleanup hitter after the first time through the lineup. Whatever. This won't work. The Cards were 28-28 last year when did this move. Stop trying to out-think the room, Tony. The Cardinals will suck this year even if they were allowed to have a DH.

***The Tribune Company hates Cubs fans - The faceless conglomerate that runs the Cubs into the ground every season is in the news (get that pun?). They are putting the Cubs up for sale (which is good) but selling the naming rights to Wrigley Field separately (which is bad). I'm sure that Cubs fans everywhere will be excited to come to a day game, sit in the bleachers, and enjoy the ivy covered walls of Playtex Park at Boudreaux's Butt Paste Field. Yes, that is an actual product. If the Tribune Company had a face that fans could blame, they would undoubtedly be more hated than Steve Bartman.

***I would like to thank Emmitt Smiff and Jesus for this opportunity - Since Inside the NFL has been cancelled by HBO, Cris Carter has been snagged up as an analyst for ESPN. Sunday NFL Countdown now has about 45 people on the set. Carter is a good analyst but I still can't get over how much I hated him as a player. His "praise Jesus" act just never sat well with me. Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with a man seeking his own salvation, it's just that there is a time and a place for everything. After a football game, while being interviewed about your on-field performance, is not one of them. What do I care though, less Emmitt Smiff is better for all of us.

***A progressive idea out of Texas, who'd-a thunk it - Are you tired of crappy Thanksgiving Day football? Well, how would you like to see a heated rivalry game between two arch enemies that are top 25 caliber every year? Texas and Texas A&M have agreed, at least for the next two years, to play on Thanksgiving. I couldn't be happier. We here in Ohio never get these two on TV so this is a welcomed change. I always love watching Mack Brown look like an idiot. And as far as playing on Thanksgiving, it's no Egg Bowl, but it will do. I still haven't forgiven the Egg Bowl participants (both Mississippi schools) for moving that game.

***Matt Damon gives me wood - Listen up, people that like movies that aren't for pussies. Matt Damon and Paul Greengrass have agreed to do a FOURTH Jason Bourne movie. Hell yeah, bitches! The Bourne franchise is freaking sick and I couldn't be happier that it is coming back. Now it's going to be a few years since Damon has a bunch of shit lined up, but still, hell yeah.

11 comments:

flohtingPoint said...

Yea, the Rockets dug their own grave. The moment you put your team on the shoulders of not one, but two fragile people, you're asking for one underachieving season after another.

Lil' Strut said...

I agree with you about Wrigley Field, that is bullshit. It is one of the few stadiums left in professional sports that is actually named after someone/something having to do with team history rather than a company. If anyone has ever been to a game at Wrigley field it is an unbeleivable experience for any sports fan. The nostalgic feeling you get from watching a game there makes attending the game worthwhile in and of itself, regardless of the quality of baseball being played. The fact that it was named after the owner of the Cubs in 1926, and has kept the name ever since adds to that nostalgic feeling. The stadium would lose a lot of its aura and mystique if it took the name of a corporation.

Stadiums that are registered as national historic landmarks should have their names preserved as such. I say Fuck the Tribune Company...and I'm not even a Cubs fan!

GMoney said...

To go along with lil' Strut's comment, you HAVE to sit on a Wrigley rooftop in the outfield at some point in your life. Best time ever. It's pricy (cost me $150) but the beer and food are free with admission. Unbelievable experience. And you have to drink an Old Style as well.

J Beanie said...

The death of Wrigley Field is a lot like the death of Jacob's Field in Cleveland... OK, it's nothing like it all.

Do you think LaRussa would coach my slow pitch softball team? It might be an upgrade for him.

And damn you Michael Redd. It only made sense that shot went in since the Cavs couldn't get any call.

Tony B. said...

I'm a huge Cubs fan, and have been to the Friendly Confines probably 40 or 50 times. For the record, I don't want the name of Wrigley Field changed, but let's not forget that even though it was named after the owner of the Cubs from 1926, it still has a corporate name. As I sit and chew on my Double Mint gum, I'm reminded that Wrigley is a company that got into naming rights earlier than everyone else.

Again, I don't want them to change the name, but realistically, it's not the end of the world as some Cubs fans have made it out to be. I'm far more concerned with the Tribune Company selling the Cubs in a quick fashion, and preferably to Mark Cuban (you can't spell Cuban without CUB.)

GMoney said...

You can't spell buttfuck without Cub either but I don't see you bragging about that.

Anonymous said...

Lets face it...

The Cavs just aren't that good. If they were in the West, they would miss the playoffs. If you believe they are actually a contender you're kidding yourself. They will get bounced by the Pistons/Celtics. And it won't even be close. The only reason they are making the playoffs this year is because the East sucks.

Don't bitch about calls in that game last night. If the Cavs were really that good the game wouldn't have come down to the last shot.

Oh yeah, Lebron will be gone when his contract is up. Here's to another lifetime of the Cavs being the laughing stock of the league.

GMoney said...

Let's face it, you don't know anything about the NBA, whoever you are.

hardawayhatesyou said...

Graig, I thought Redd traveled too. (Sorry....little salt in the wound).

Also, as a White Sox fan, I freely admit that the area around Wrigley is awesome, and watching a game on the rooftop is more fun that one can believe. And the park is beautiful, and the 'scenery' is fucking tremendous.

But the experience of actually watching a game inside the actual park is vastly overrated. There are obstructed views everywhere, the food is the worst of every pro sporting venue in the city, and there's one beer vendor for every 5,000 people, so forget about keeping your buzz during the 3-hour game.

Unless you sneak in a flask.

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flohtingPoint said...

Let's face it, you don't know anything about the NBA, whoever you are.

Pretty much second that. Way to fall on your sword there Anonymous guy.