Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Every Wednesday, we here at The Money Shot run down some stories that aren't "full topic worthy" in a bullet-pointed fashion. The results are delightful.
This week, the "Original Brokeback Mountain Starred Steve Largent and the New Redskins Coach" Edition.
***When I think about me, I touch myself - I rarely get to talk about myself. I'm doing it now. Fuck it, deal with it. This past Sunday, I executed a practice that I had not done in a long-ass time...day-drinking without eating anything. Not good. Oh it was great to be hammered by 4 pm, but the quasi-blackout and not remembering anything about the Blue Jackets game somewhat worries me. And don't get me started on the hangover. I think I'm finally over it now but nothing beats running to your office bathroom every hour on the hour. I was like an AM radio station traffic report. Yeah, that's not embarrassing at all. It's worse than living on a ranch with Gentleman Jim Zorn. But enough about me, it's not like I'm not going to tie one on again this weekend at a wedding. I'm a man, I'm 27!!!
***And you think that you know boredom - During the Spring and Summer, I umpire high school baseball. I've been doing it for 7 years now. Whatever, you don't care. To keep my license, I have to attend 4 local rules interpretation meetings. Let me tell you, they fucking suck. An hour+ of some guy reading out of a rule book is 8 times worse than it even sounds. But this past meeting, Monday night, we had a special guest. MLB veteran umpire, Tim Timmons, spoke for about 45 minutes and answered questions. I've met a few MLB umps before and they always have great stories. Whether it be crazy ejections or whatever else you can think of, there is always a tale. Anyway, Timmons did a Q/A thing that had a few interesting tidbits. Base coaches are going to be required to wear helmets (which is weird). The QUESTEC systems are going away. Replay is going to be available soon. And when someone asked about Roger Clemens he emphatically said into the mic, "NO COMMENT!!!" It was hilarious.
***I know that I saw this coming - It wouldn't be college basketball season if Kelvin Sampson wasn't being investigated for being a weasal. Ha! Blog commenter, IU fan, and man about town, jessegscott, and I have had arguments about the shadiness of Sampson in the past. Well, jesse, what do you think about your boy now. The papers from the NCAA have been delivered and now the Hoosiers have to wait to go in front of the board to explain these illegal transgressions. Mike Davis wasn't that bad now, was he?
***Coming to Wrestlemania 25... - Wow. Normally, I find steroid talk about as boring as Brad Garrett, but not today. Roger and Mac are in front of Congress this morning and the results are expected to be boner-ific. For one of these guys, the lies end now. It seems like Andy Pettitte is backing Mac and Jose Canseco is defending Clemens. What incredibly odd bed fellows here. You just know that Vince McMahon wants to get these 4 in a ring together. I like to think that Canseco and Clemens, or The Shooters, would be managed by The Mouth of the South, Jimmy Hart. Today is going to be interesting on Capitol Hill.
***Trying to stay positive but history shows that I shouldn't be - I want to think that I like the Jim Zorn hire for the Skins. I really do. I mean, anyone is better than Jim Fassel, right? But, like everything football-related that Dan Snyder touches, I'm sure Zorn will fail. What a circus that hiring process was. And now there are rumors that the Skins want Chad Johnson...ugh. While I do admit that they need a big, play-making WR, is this lockerroom cancer really the answer? And what are the Bengals going to ask for in return? They don't want him anymore so we do have the power here. I think a 3rd and a 7th would be fair considering our bargaining advantage...or Shawn Springs and a 4th rounder. Something like that. Either way, I have a bad feeling that the Skins are going to suck next season. Already being 21 mill over the cap doesn't help.
***Reggie Bush likes white women, taking money - Also being deposed this week is Saints mediocre RB, Reggie Bush. Obviously, if you're reading this, you know that he and his family are accused of taking money from a marketing agency while Bush was at USC. Who really cares though? If Bush got paid, he certainly earned it (at least as a Trojan). How can you blame a teenage kid for accepting money that someone is handing to him? I would...who doesn't take free money? However this mess ends, I'm sure Reggie will live the rest of his life plowing through many different varieties of gigantic white asses.
***Oh yeah, new episodes of 'Til Death are coming - Hey, the writers are back working today!!! Thanks for ruining three+ months of TV, ya jerks. As crappy as the strike was for Joe TV Watcher, I'm glad that things will be back to normal soon. I mean, someone watches Bones and has been longing for new episodes, right? I don't know any of these people however. A big Boo! though to NBC as it looks like Friday Night Lights is done. Fuck that. How am I supposed to go on with my life without the wacky antics of Tim "It's Wednesday, I never go to school on Wednesdays" Riggins? Oh yeah, Brad Garrett isn't funny. Watching him get impaled would be though.
Alright, I'm out. Back tomorrow...hopefully a little less gay.