Wednesday, February 13, 2008

The Hump Day Hump



Every Wednesday, we here at The Money Shot run down some stories that aren't "full topic worthy" in a bullet-pointed fashion. The results are delightful.

This week, the "Original Brokeback Mountain Starred Steve Largent and the New Redskins Coach" Edition.

***When I think about me, I touch myself - I rarely get to talk about myself. I'm doing it now. Fuck it, deal with it. This past Sunday, I executed a practice that I had not done in a long-ass time...day-drinking without eating anything. Not good. Oh it was great to be hammered by 4 pm, but the quasi-blackout and not remembering anything about the Blue Jackets game somewhat worries me. And don't get me started on the hangover. I think I'm finally over it now but nothing beats running to your office bathroom every hour on the hour. I was like an AM radio station traffic report. Yeah, that's not embarrassing at all. It's worse than living on a ranch with Gentleman Jim Zorn. But enough about me, it's not like I'm not going to tie one on again this weekend at a wedding. I'm a man, I'm 27!!!

***And you think that you know boredom - During the Spring and Summer, I umpire high school baseball. I've been doing it for 7 years now. Whatever, you don't care. To keep my license, I have to attend 4 local rules interpretation meetings. Let me tell you, they fucking suck. An hour+ of some guy reading out of a rule book is 8 times worse than it even sounds. But this past meeting, Monday night, we had a special guest. MLB veteran umpire, Tim Timmons, spoke for about 45 minutes and answered questions. I've met a few MLB umps before and they always have great stories. Whether it be crazy ejections or whatever else you can think of, there is always a tale. Anyway, Timmons did a Q/A thing that had a few interesting tidbits. Base coaches are going to be required to wear helmets (which is weird). The QUESTEC systems are going away. Replay is going to be available soon. And when someone asked about Roger Clemens he emphatically said into the mic, "NO COMMENT!!!" It was hilarious.

***I know that I saw this coming - It wouldn't be college basketball season if Kelvin Sampson wasn't being investigated for being a weasal. Ha! Blog commenter, IU fan, and man about town, jessegscott, and I have had arguments about the shadiness of Sampson in the past. Well, jesse, what do you think about your boy now. The papers from the NCAA have been delivered and now the Hoosiers have to wait to go in front of the board to explain these illegal transgressions. Mike Davis wasn't that bad now, was he?

***Coming to Wrestlemania 25... - Wow. Normally, I find steroid talk about as boring as Brad Garrett, but not today. Roger and Mac are in front of Congress this morning and the results are expected to be boner-ific. For one of these guys, the lies end now. It seems like Andy Pettitte is backing Mac and Jose Canseco is defending Clemens. What incredibly odd bed fellows here. You just know that Vince McMahon wants to get these 4 in a ring together. I like to think that Canseco and Clemens, or The Shooters, would be managed by The Mouth of the South, Jimmy Hart. Today is going to be interesting on Capitol Hill.

***Trying to stay positive but history shows that I shouldn't be - I want to think that I like the Jim Zorn hire for the Skins. I really do. I mean, anyone is better than Jim Fassel, right? But, like everything football-related that Dan Snyder touches, I'm sure Zorn will fail. What a circus that hiring process was. And now there are rumors that the Skins want Chad Johnson...ugh. While I do admit that they need a big, play-making WR, is this lockerroom cancer really the answer? And what are the Bengals going to ask for in return? They don't want him anymore so we do have the power here. I think a 3rd and a 7th would be fair considering our bargaining advantage...or Shawn Springs and a 4th rounder. Something like that. Either way, I have a bad feeling that the Skins are going to suck next season. Already being 21 mill over the cap doesn't help.

***Reggie Bush likes white women, taking money - Also being deposed this week is Saints mediocre RB, Reggie Bush. Obviously, if you're reading this, you know that he and his family are accused of taking money from a marketing agency while Bush was at USC. Who really cares though? If Bush got paid, he certainly earned it (at least as a Trojan). How can you blame a teenage kid for accepting money that someone is handing to him? I would...who doesn't take free money? However this mess ends, I'm sure Reggie will live the rest of his life plowing through many different varieties of gigantic white asses.

***Oh yeah, new episodes of 'Til Death are coming - Hey, the writers are back working today!!! Thanks for ruining three+ months of TV, ya jerks. As crappy as the strike was for Joe TV Watcher, I'm glad that things will be back to normal soon. I mean, someone watches Bones and has been longing for new episodes, right? I don't know any of these people however. A big Boo! though to NBC as it looks like Friday Night Lights is done. Fuck that. How am I supposed to go on with my life without the wacky antics of Tim "It's Wednesday, I never go to school on Wednesdays" Riggins? Oh yeah, Brad Garrett isn't funny. Watching him get impaled would be though.

Alright, I'm out. Back tomorrow...hopefully a little less gay.

21 comments:

flohtingPoint said...

How am I supposed to go on with my life without the wacky antics of Tim "It's Wednesday, I never go to school on Wednesdays" Riggins?

I've always liked Landry Clark, the kid looks like Matt Damon. Well, Matt Damon if you mixed in Shreck and that generic DNA template that makes most retards look like the kid from Life Goes On. Landry's lines are always classic.

J Beanie said...

You're 27, bitch!!! Love it.

I'm glad the writers' strike is over. I was sick of watching all those re-run basketball games, like Vandy pounding UK.

Kyle said...

The world is going to be a dark place without Tyra. And we're going to get no resolution to the Million Dollar Question: why is Riggins still around when last season he was supposed to be a senior?

flohtingPoint said...

The world is going to be a dark place without Tyra. And we're going to get no resolution to the Million Dollar Question: why is Riggins still around when last season he was supposed to be a senior?

Anythings possible in TV land. Most of the writers think nobody pays attention to semantics at all anyway. They figure if 90210 can pull off having David graduate at the same time everyone else did, then the majority of the population that watches their show must be dim.

GMoney said...

No, I will not stop you all from discussing 90210. In fact, I encourage it. I ask you this:

Is the Peach Pit a real place? If so, I want to go.

You've got to read Jayson Stark's live-blog of the Clemens hearing...hilarious.

flohtingPoint said...

Is the Peach Pit a real place? If so, I want to go.

Which one, the After Dark or the burger joint run by Nat?

...

...

What? It came on FX at like 3pm and was better than watching Sally Jesse when I got home from school.

Anonymous said...

They let Donna graduate even though she showed up shitfaced to prom. That's not really the same situation as David, but I still thought it was hilarious and worth mention.

-Damman

Kyle said...

90210 was before my time. I was always more of a Saved By The Bell fan. The Max > Peach Pit

Tony B. said...

The Peach Pit vs. The Max

Entertainment:
P.P.= big name rock acts
The Max= Max's magic tricks
Advantage: Peach Pit

Hotties:
P.P.= Brenda, Donna, Kelly, and the one with glasses that got pregnant.
The Max= Kelly Kapowski, Jesse Spano, and Lisa Turtle.
Advantage: The Max

Regulars:
P.P.= Dylan, Brandon, Steve, and David
The Max=Screech, Zack, and A.C. Slater
Advantage: The Max (Mr. Belding's occasional appearances broke the tie)

Food:
Push. They served about the same menu

So far, I'm going with the Max, but keep on arguing if you're so inclined.

flohtingPoint said...

@Tony

Peach Pit should really win the hotties category as they have the trump card of the upgraded surgically enhanced Tiffany Amber Thiessen in Valerie. Claire was no slouch either, especially in her later years.

GMoney said...

This argument, right here, is exactly why I love the sport of blogging. Excellent breakdowns, fellas.

Tony B. said...

@ flohtingpoint:

You're absolutely right since Tiffany-Amber Thiessen made appearances at the Peach Pit- however, I down-graded the Peach Pit for the sum of appearances of Tori Spelling (Yes, I am aware that Tori Spelling was Screech's girlfriend and was occasionally found at the Max.)

DAMN! There's more overlap than I initially remembered!

Anonymous said...

Look at how the comments start going crazy after the mention of Saved By the Bell/90210.

Gmoney, maybe you should have a week of 90210/Saved by the Bell breakdowns. Not sure how you would do that or what you would talk about exactly, but that's why you're the blogger. Give the people what they want.

But, in regards to what place is better, the Peach Pit or The Max, I would have to say neither. They both had to have telethons to keep from getting closed down. If they were so great, they wouldn't never have to think about closing down.

-Damman

flohtingPoint said...

@ Tony B.

I understand your hesitancy to give the Peach Pit the one-up due to Tori Spelling, but I see your Tori hate and raise you one summer long season of 90210 which would constantly feature bikini clad extras in the Peach Pit.

If were including the Peach Pit After Dark, we can add Vanessa Marcil (played Gina and I think even owned the After Dark at one point). If you're in to chicks with short hair (I can't really do it, look too "boyish"), you also get Brandon's crush of Emily Valentine (who later didn't look too bad in ER).

Tony B. said...

Yeah, the summer-long bikini clad extras definitely help out the Peach Pit's case. Saved by the Bell summers just gave us Stacey Carosi. And they were too busy working at the beach to visit the Max.

I also rethought the kind of music they had at each place. The Peach Pit seemed to have normal early 90s hits on the jukebox, where as the Max had fictional instrumental jams that all the kids are in to on the show, but that no one would actually listen to in real life. Advantage: Peach Pit.

jessegscott said...

This is still intresting and I think there is some fishy details that are still not thre. I want to here Sampson speak again and his thoughts. Some of it I believe and some of it i do believe. I'm not making a judgement yet. But if Sampson did know about and knowing spoke in 3-way cause, there should be some punsihment. I just read the whole report and I think we need to here from Sampson and other IU coaches.

Kyle said...

anonymous, the Peach Pit and The Max weren't in financial trouble because they sucked, they were just victims of the early '90s recession that allowed Bill Clinton to beat George H.W. Bush for the presidency.

...My god, I am losing touch with reality.

flohtingPoint said...

@ Tony

Hell yes Peach Pit. Welcome to the dark side...

jessegscott said...

I like Friday Night Lights. Tim Riggans getting drunk and getting his ass kicked, Or another smash episode. And its loaded with hot chicks.

Tony B. said...

Did the Hang Time kids have a hang out place where the relax after grueling practices thrown down by Coach Reggie Theus or Coach Dick Butkus? Maybe that could compete with the Peach Pit?

Kyle said...

Not that I know of, but I'm pretty sure they smoked a bowl with Damon Stoudamire that episode he appeared on.