Wednesday, February 06, 2008

The Hump Day Hump

Every Wednesday, we here at The Money Shot run down some stories that aren't "full topic worthy" in a bullet-pointed fashion. The results are delightful.

This week, the "Today Begins My 6 Week Journey Into The Realm Of Vegetarianism" Edition. Hopefully, South Park is wrong and I don't start growing little vaginas all over my sexy frame. I'm doing this for Jesus though so it's cool.

***Will Shaq be the new Vince Carter - This is a bit of a headscratcher for me. Why would the Suns dump Shawn Marion to add an aging center who doesn't fit their system at all? It appears that this is a done deal and it is definitely interesting. Will adding Shaq make the Suns better and ready to knock off the Spurs in the West? I don't see it. I guess Marion was expendable considering that he couldn't play the 4 anyway and Amare is not really a center. But Shaq was the best they could have gotten for him??? I'm sure the Cavs would have unloaded Gooden and Larry for The Matrix. Seems like a better deal, at least for Phoenix, to me. But the most interesting thing is whether or not we see a different Shaq than what we have seen the last 2 years. If he comes out and dominates again, that's bullshit. That would be a replica of Vince Carter tanking in Toronto to force a trade. And I hated that. We'll have to wait and see on this, I guess, but I'm just really confused by Steve Kerr's decision here. And I don't want to see Shaq Fu in an orange uniform.

***At least Neil Reed is happy - Time to weigh in on the Bobby Knight saga. Yes, he is a legend and one of the best coaches ever. But he never adapted to the times and I can't respect that. He never figured out that you can't bully people around anymore and that you can't win big with "system" players. His teams were terrible in the tournament over the past 10-15 years. Who was the last player that he coached that went on to the NBA? Calbert Cheaney? I don't know, we'll all miss his wacky antics, but really, who cares? Who thinks about Texas Tech hoops? They still aren't relevant (that will get the comment section going). To me, it's kind of like when Jordan went and played for the Wiz for two years. It's the same guy but it's not the same. The General should have never come back in the first place.

***Now THAT was a great basketball game - Chances are pretty good that none of you watched the Celtics/Cavs game last night. That's cool, I can live with that. But The Q had a real playoff-type buzz running through it and the game did not disappoint. Who doesn't love a good 114-113 game anyway? Crazy people, that's who. And while there was no Garnett, Varejao, Pavlovic, and second half Drew Gooden, the play was sensational. Here comes a prediction for you, there is NO WAY that the Celtics can beat a healthy Cavaliers team in the playoffs. None. LeBron is unstoppable. Z is playing like the All-Star that he should have been this year. Hell, even Larry Hughes is playing great basketball on both ends. Who would have thought that Ira Newble (RedHawk) and Dwayne Jones would contribute to this team? If Danny Ferry can trade for one more shooter, they can win it all. He won't though because he sucks at life.

***Rudy Giuliani eats dick salads - If any of you weirdos still buy baseball cards, you have a 1 in 700 chance to get a special card this year. Topps has a card of Giuliani giving a big fist pump when the Red Sox won the World Series this past year. What the fuck? And you wonder why no one will vote for you, Rudy. I went off on my big soapbox last month about how stupid people root for their rivals because they are in the same league. The same rules apply here, Rudy. I have to cut the cord with you. You can keep preaching about 9/11 until your face turns blue, but all that I see is another dickbag Red Sox fan.

***Introducing the Prank of the Century - To all you non-losers out there, today is National Signing Day. Blah, blah, blah, Terrelle Pryor, blah, blah, blah, gay Elmer Fudd. No, I'm not talking about him again. Here's a story for you though that should make you laugh. Some kid named Kevin Hart from Nevada signed his letter of intent with Cal. The only problem is that Jeff Tedford never offered him a scholarship and never even tried to recruit him. Apparently, someone that this kid knew made this all up as a prank...and it worked BEAUTIFULLY! How does this kid even show his face anywhere? You've got to respect the follow through by the pranker here...job well done. And let me bring in Michael Irvin to finish this paragraph..."Kevin Hart just got JACKED UP!!!"

***Welcome back Dickie V - I'm not the biggest Vitale fan. He's OK but I don't think that you have to be a retard to call a basketball game. Anyway, he's back from his throat issues tonight to call the Duke/Carolina game. That should be a fantastic game. I'm going to pick Duke to win...not sure why, call it a hunch. Ty Lawson's injured ankle doesn't help the Heels either. And have you been watching hoops this week? I'm so glad that ESPN is finally televising weeknight mid-major games. Two of the best games that you will see all year were Monday's Gonzaga/St. Mary's OT thriller and Butler's amazing comeback last night over Valpo. If you don't like watching Tennessee hang 104 points on a team, you don't like basketball. Now is the time of year that you, as a fan, need to get focused as the tournament is right around the corner.

***Super Tuesday is Super Gay - I was laying in bed last night and realized that it was a big political day in America (fuck yeah). So I turned on CNN for a few minutes to see what happened. It looks like John McCain will be running for the Repubic-hairs and the Dems race is still wide open. I'm not going to pretend to know what I'm talking about here as that was the most news coverage I've watched in the last two years combined (and I only watched about 7 minutes). But I will say this, John McCain, really??? He looks terrible. Even if he wins, he might die before his inauguration. But what do I know, I'm just a registered voter. USA!!!

I'm out, catch ya'll peeps tomorrow.


J Beanie said...

The Shaq trade isn't a done deal. He still has to fly to Phoenix and pass a physical. The way Shaq is now, I have a better chance of passing a Breathalyzer test after going to happy hour and not leaving until 2 a.m.

That prank is the greatest thing I've ever read. Did he go through the whole recruiting process with letters, phone calls? Did he bring him on an official visit? This guy is either the greatest pranker of all time or the prankee is the biggest moron God ever put on this earth.

Chris Lofton has been my favorite college basketball player for the last four years and maybe of all time. Just a gunner with no regrets. Got to love it.

John McCain, the first American President to die in office since JFK.

G$ - good luck on the no meat thing. Are you doing no meat all Lent? That would be impressive if you weren't already a vagina. I'll be with you today and on Fridays though.

flohtingPoint said...

-----Original Message-----
From: Robert Sarver
Sent: Summer of 07
To: Kevin McHale
Subject: Kevin Garnett for Amare

Kevbo, what kind of idiot do you think I am. Kevin Garnett for Amare Stoudemire? What sense does that make! Get real and make me a decent offer... It's a shame you guys traded away that Olowokandi guy, I've been dying to get a fatfuck who doesn't give a shit about anything on my team.

Anonymous said...

Isiah Thomas was the only player Knight coached that was any good in the NBA. I agree TT was never really relevant especially the last few years. They were never more than the fourth or fifth best team in the Big 12. As much as love him, it was time for him to go.

You're boy Pryor isn't going to announce today. The suspense builds!


Kyle said...

So in Marion you give up someone who can defend guards and bigs, rebounds at a 12-a-game clip, can shoot the J and slash for a broken down lump who can't go for more than 20 minutes a game, will slow down their run-n-gun offense and can no longer guard his own shadow.

God I love Robert Sarver.

Amaysing1 said...

The Kevin Hart story gets better. Check this out

"A prep football player who had claimed he was duped into believing he was recruited to play at a Pac-10 school admitted Wednesday he made up the story."

This is classic. He should definitely get a scholarship to the community college of his choice. Making up the entire story and then holding a news conference for the fake signing is incredible. Does none of the media do research on anything anymore?