Thursday, January 03, 2008

In The Year 2008



Today, we are going to get out the official crystal ball of The Money Shot and predicting the upcoming year. Yes, we are stealing this bit from Conan O'Brien but he has been gracious enough to stop on by and help us out. We've also enlisted the services of Herm! Edwards. Let's get this going...

G$: "... It's time, once again, to look into the future."
Conan O'Brien: "The future, G$?"
G$: "That's right, Conan. Let's look to the future, all the way to the year 2008!"



Herm!: In the year 2008...In the year 2008...

G$: In 2007, the NFL experienced a return of the crappy quarterback. In 2008, the shitty running back will once again rise to power. Welcome back, Brad Muster and Zack Crockett.

Herm!: In the year 2008...In the year 2008...

Conan: Trying to shed the Steroid Era label, MLB will shift it's focus on an investigation of the Milwaukee Brewers' decision to give Eric Gagne 10 million dollars and why the kielbasa never wins during the Sausage Race.

Herm!: In the year 2008...In the year 2008...

G$: Tony Romo will still be in the tabloids for plowing celebrities. He will dump Jessica and move on to another Simpson...Orenthal James.

Herm!: In the year 2008...In the year 2008...

Conan: The writer's strike will end. But after having to endure another season of new 'Til Death episodes, the American public will collectively hang themselves with their TV cords.

Herm!: In the year 2008...In the year 2008...

G$: While trying to clean up their image from the referee betting scandal and the Knicks debacle, David Stern will enforce a league-wide mandate for all teams to play hard every night. The Union will likely fight this tooth and nail.

Herm!: In the year 2008...In the year 2008...

Conan: Sylvester Stallone will try to capitalize on the success of his sequels and film Rocky 7 in which he discovers that his son was not in bed like he was supposed to be at the end of Rocky IV and has to defend his honor by bare-knuckle fighting his kid to the death.

Herm!: In the year 2008...In the year 2008...

G$: The presidential race will be decided. Expect a large push from an outsider that will lead to the election of President Kang. But don't blame me, I voted for Kodos. Everybody loves a good Simpsons reference.

Herm!: In the year 2008...In the year 2008...

Conan: Jamie Lynn Spears will give birth to her bastard child. Her sister will then eat it in the restroom of a Valero gas station.

Herm!: In the year 2008...In the year 2008...

G$: Bill Walton will set the world record for the longest spoken sentence of all time at 13 hours and 36 minutes. The sentence will range in topics from transition defense to John Wooden-ism's to Grateful Dead concerts to prison rape to Teen Wolf Too to Scott Baio is 46 and Pregnant and will end, coming full circle, with a second analysis of transition defense.

Herm!: In the year 2008...In the year 2008...

Conan: Steve Phillips will resign from his position of "company idiot" at ESPN to become an assassin. His first target will be one of his most famous haters, G$. But just like in real life, he will miss and end up hitting Benny Agbayani.

Herm!: In the year 2008...In the year 2008...

Alright, that was fun, wasn't it? If you've never seen the sketch, then I apologize for the reptitive nature of Herm!. I would like to thank Conan and Herm! for helping me out with my prediction blog. Thanks, guys. We'll be back tomorrow (and again on Saturday...ugh).

3 comments:

saul hudson said...

Thank You!

Anonymous said...

Since I will be downing hurricanes in the Big Easy and won't have access to a computer, how about an early BCS Championship game preview tomorrow? As one of your loyal commenters, I think I've earned it. Go Bucks, the sniper sucks!

-Damman

Kyle said...

"Abortions for some, little American flags for others!"

Oh yeah, great Simpsons reference there G-Money. My all-time favorite Treehouse of Horros episode.