Thursday, January 24, 2008
Do you remember the old SNL sketches where Norm McDonald would portray Larry King? He used to make a bunch of different oddball statements with no transitions at all and switch to a different camera after each one. Well, since I'm running on empty this morning, I'm doing that today. Yep, today you get a bunch of non-sequitors that are just floating around in my head. Why? Because I care about my readers.
I'm not surprised at all that Jose Canseco is trying to blackmail Magglio Ordonez to keep him out of his next book. All he wants is money for his movie project. That sounds about right. He's classy.
A cup of yogurt is a very underrated side dish.
The Redskins, now denying that Jim Fassel will be the next coach and are interviewing coordinators before they've fired their current ones and hired a head coach, are the worst run franchise in sports.
I'm one more embarrassing loss from giving up on my Redhawks. Apparently, we have no offense to counteract a 2-3 zone. Drake will be my new team once we lose to EMU at home on Saturday.
The Moment of Truth is a fantastic game show. Welcome back, Mark L. Walberg.
Rambo is the biggest badass in the history of the world. I don't care that he helped the Taliban in Rambo III.
I flipped off 3 people on the way to work this morning and received one bird myself.
One of my few requests thus far for my upcoming nuptials is the banning of Hang On Sloopy. No fucking way am I listening to that garbage.
Having had to work on Monday, it is obvious to me that my employer is a racist.
Every time my boss asks me something, I want to punch her in the ovary. I'm a good employee.
The bitch that works near me has been listening to The Police all week. The Police suck.
My boss has still not gotten us anything for Christmas...just to let you know.
Penis is a funnier word than poop.
People that use the term "va-jay-jay" should be murdered.
I've lost a lot of sleep over the years debating which show was the worst: Everybody Loves Raymond, According to Jim, or That 70's Show.
If you want me to not pay attention to you, start talking politics.
Blackhaus is my new shot of choice at the bar. Delicious. Jagermeister is sooooo 2004.
Larry Hughes makes me think that I could play in the NBA.
I just don't think that Roger Clemens is very smart. Whether or not he shot up is moot, I think he's just a dumb guy.
How does a greek guy named Kosta Koufos come from Canton, OH?
All people that live in Massachusetts should be spayed and neutered.
I have a jar of thumbtacks on my desk and I haven't used one since I've been here.
I've been at least 15 minutes late to work every day this week. But since the boss shows up 25-30 minutes late everyday, it's the perfect crime.
The last few years, being the good Catholic that I am, I gave up red meat for Lent. This year, I'm strongly considering going vegetarian. No, I'm not gay.
I haven't had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in a very long time.
Well, that was sort of fun. I'm going to spend the rest of the morning getting back into G$ mode and out of the Larry King role. Wish me luck. If you have any more completely irrelevant blanket statements that you'd like to make, leave them in the comments.