Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Airing of Grievances: Bowl Games

This picture should make everyone a little bit nauseous.

After watching over 12 hours worth of college football yesterday, I felt compelled to dust off an old segment I used to run here. For those that have been coming here for awhile, you may remember that I used to run an Airing of Grievances piece where I complained about a lot of things. Well, after yesterday, I've got a lot to complain about. Here are my five biggest objections of the bowl season.

The Rose Bowl is a piece of shit - No, it has nothing to do with Illinois' performance. I can't hate on the Illini, they fought hard but weren't ready for the big time. My problem is that when OSU was selected for the BCS title game, the Rose Bowl had the first selection for a replacement team. They picked Illinois to keep the whole Pac-10/Big Ten farce alive. Why? This makes no sense to me. The powers that be should have taken a far more deserving Georgia team that would have set up a titanic battle between the Trojans and Bulldogs that would have left everyone happy. Everyone. Those two teams sure looked like #'s 1 and 2 yesterday. It's too bad that we were robbed of that great matchup for "tradition". The tradition of the Big Ten not being competitive in their showcase game. The Rose Bowl had the chance to have the biggest bowl game of the season, even bigger than the BCS title game, and they blew it. When the time came for the Rose Bowl to decide who they wanted to play USC, they should have used the advice of Columbus legend Long...dong, "It's like asking me do you want it better or do you want it worse". The Rose Bowl, at least this year, chose to have their game be worse.

The Heisman finalists were terrible - Not Tim Tebow, mind you, he was sensational yesterday when his O-Line decided to block for him. I'm talking about the other 3 guys. Colt Brennan looked like a guy that couldn't start for the Panthers. D-Mac was ineffective based on D-Mac standards. And Chase Daniel's team scored 37 points and he accounted for none of them. Ugh. I was actually looking forward to the Cotton Bowl, too. I just wish that McFadden and Daniel would have shown up. Tony Temple was the real deal though...fantastic. After yesterday's shittiness from the finalists, it's even more obvious now that Tebow was the best option for the trophy.

Why did they wait until their bowl game - This might be the thing that pisses me off the most. Several coaches unveiled new wrinkles into their offenses for the last game of the season and, for the most part, were successful. My question is, why did you just bust this stuff out now? Auburn inserted a spread offense 10+ days before their game and it worked brilliantly. Did Tommy Tuberville not know that he had the personnel for that all season??? Michigan was running all sorts of end arounds and actually throwing the ball downfield as opposed to their normal offense of screens, 3 yard rushes, and 5 yard outs. WHY WEREN'T YOU DOING THAT ALL YEAR!!! You may have been playing for more than a free Capital One credit card had you opened up the offense all season. And even though Erik Ainge was fantastic (I actually think that this kid is good and could play on Sundays despite what most people think), Phil "worst coach ever" Fulmer insisted on bringing in an option style QB on plays in the red zone and it damn near cost them the game in which they dominated from the start. Ugh, coaches are fucking stupid.

Coaches are stupid, part deux - Nope, this is the thing that pisses me off the most. With the exception of one game, bowls are meaningless. They are. They don't do anything but make one team feel good and one team feel bad...for about 2-3 days. So with that being said, why in the hell don't coaches go for it on 4th and 1 at the 30 yard line? You aren't playing for anything but pride! There is much more pride involved for a team going for a touchdown drive as opposed to conceding defeat and settling for a FG attempt. It drives me nuts. Almost all of the big recruits have signed, the schools have been paid, there is no bonus for a win...GO FOR A FUCKING TOUCHDOWN. Play with some bollocks. This isn't the NFL. It isn't win or go home. It will always be a "win or lose, our season is over and we're still going home." So go for the throat...go for the win, you vaginas.

Coaches are stupid, first blood part two - Oh, yes, it isn't just exclusive to the NFL. Coaches make horrific decisions in college, too. Three game changing bonehead decisions come to mind.
1. Al Groh deciding to throw the ball, up 7, with under 2 minutes to play. The result was a sack, a fumble, and a play later, Texas Tech had tied up the Gator Bowl. What a dumbass decision...RUN THE FUCKING BALL, AL. This was the best game of the day though. After this game and last year's Insight Bowl crazy win, I will never miss a Texas Tech bowl game ever again.
2. Bret Bielema's decision to go for it on 4th and 2 with 4 minutes to go - Now, I know, I just said that teams should be going for it almost all of the time. But not in every case, and certainly not in this case. 2 yards is a lot of real estate. What he should have done is kick the field goal to go down 1 and then when the Badgers got the ball back, all he would need is another 3. This isn't cowardly considering his QB was getting absolutely destroyed all day and likely spent the night in ICU. What were the odds that he had another touchdown drive in him? Not very good, but the odds that he could move the ball 30-35 yards for a game winning kick? Much, much better. Congrats, Wisconsin, you lost to Phil Fulmer.
3. Urban Meyer's decision to have no one block for his Heisman QB - I think Urban is one of the best coaches in the nation, but his performance yesterday was abysmal. I vaguely recall this situation...when Ol' Ball Coach was with the Redskins, he would spread everything out, leave no one in to block, and get the QB killed on every pass attempt. Well, the same thing happened yesterday. Tebow was getting mauled back there by a crappy Michigan team with a coaching corpse and Meyer didn't change any blocking schemes whatsoever. A total stubborn move, like he was saying to the world, "I'm Urban fucking Meyer, bitch, now suck my champion balls." Meyer lost that game. Not his crappy defense or crappy offensive line, but him.

Well there you go. All in all, yesterday should have been the final nail in the coffin that the NFL is far and away better than college football. Those games were almost all terrible. Let's hope that the remaining slate is decent.

And finally, I attended my first ever NHL game Monday night...I was impressed. It is a lot better in person than it is on TV obviously. The Jackets won and Rick Nash had a hat trick (seeing everyone chuck their lids on the ice is quite a sight). I have to give mad props to the guy sitting behind me who analyzed the entire game. Honestly, it really helped me follow along. It was like watching a game with my dad except less annoying and way more informative.

See ya'll tomorrow. Enjoy day 3 of the NFL post-Brian Billick!!!


Anonymous said...

Urban Meyer got his balls handed to him by a much better coach, a Big Ten coach. Last week you were attempting to compare conference coaches and we saw it played out on the field. We are finally seeing how Meyer can coach when he is playing with guys he recruited, and not Ron Zook. Carr took him to school yesterday. That game should have been a blowout, had Michigan been able to hold on to the ball. Tebow looked pathetic, and you can't blame it all on the line. Michigan took his scrambling ability out of the game and their offense fell apart. It made me smile to see Meyer on the sidelines, at the end of the game, with that stupid blank look of utter confusion as to what had just happened.

Fuck anyone who says that the Big Ten can't roll with the SEC.


GMoney said...

Yes, it was not a good day for Urban. I give Carr no credit though as that is what the offense should have been all season. That was not Tebow's fault at all, Tom Brady would have looked bad behind that sieve of a line.

Thank you for bringing up my coaching rankings because my #10 SEC coach Danza-slapped my #3 Big 10 coach.

Anonymous said...

And the not on the list Lloyd Carr bitch slapped SEC #1 Urban Meyer.

GMoney said...

I did have Dick-Rod at #2 though.

Anonymous said...

Tony Temple is the real deal?!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA he had one game against an Arkansas team whose coaching staff was depleted. Tim Tebow fucking lost, so in no way can you say he deserved the Heisman after a PATHETIC loss to Michigan.

I believe reading your blog actually makes me dumber, so i won't read it anymore.

GMoney said...

Good, get the fuck out, you probably are the guy who came here by searching "if i finger myself, can i eat it" anyway.

GMoney said...

And another thing, I said that Tony Temple WAS the real deal...which he was on NY's Day.

If we are playing the blame game, should we fault Tebow for putting up 35 points and his defense couldn't stop anyone??? That was pathetic to you I guess. Go watch soccer, homo.