Thursday, May 31, 2007

Tiger Woods Is In Town

The Memorial tees off this morning here in beautiful (?) Columbus, Ohio. Next to Ohio State football, this is the biggest sporting event of the year in these parts. Back by popular demand this week are both Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson. Rain is in the forecast the next four days though which could damper the mood.

I am scheduled to attend on a free basis on Saturday which I am very excited about. I've never been to a golf tournament before. And while it will suck having my creamy, delicious, incredibly white skin getting burned and dealing with allergy attacks, it doesn't matter. You know why?

Because I get to watch Tiger Woods play. Let me repeat that. I get to watch the best player in the world showcase his talent. For free.

I would like to thank my drunk idiot of a roommate for getting this blog the hook-up for Saturday. Apparently when Buke went to the Pro-Am yesterday, he shouted a one liner at Tits McGee Mickelson that he acknowledged with a chuckle. I don't believe it, after all, he was pretty hammered when he got home last night.

I've also used my insane blogging abilities to line up an interview with Tiger Woods after his round on Saturday. I will be posting it here Monday morning. I couldn't be more excited. This just goes to show that hard work, lies, and disgusting satire always pay off in the end.

Can the Cavs steal one in Detroit tonight??? Can't wait for the game.


***UPDATE!!! My goal of getting hit in the head by an errant Phil Mickelson tee shot on Saturday and suing him for brain damage has just been derailed. The barrel-chested one has withdrawn from the tournament due to a wrist injury. In layman's terms, he's suffering from "Masturbator's Elbow". I still think this is a lie and that he quit because my redheaded leprechaun roommate was throwing one liners at him again this morning and annoying the hell out of him.

***UPDATE 5 seconds after the first update!!! I brought this up to my sister and Damman this weekend. How great would it be to be at the jacket presentation on Sunday at The Masters and when it's quiet, blurt out, "I BELIEVE THAT JACKET BELONGS TO MR. GILMORE!!!" I would die if this ever happened. It would be the funniest thing of all time.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

This Blog No Longer Lacks Boobie

Wow. What a performance last night. In case you live under a rock or are chained up in some guy's basement, my beloved Cavaliers evened up the Eastern Conference Finals. It was another excellent 3 quarters of basketball played by a team that has been criticized for not closing out games and not having a supporting cast.

For the second straight game, the Cavs finished strong and got big performances from other players not named LeBron Fucking James. Here are my thoughts:

--What the fuck is going on during the third quarter of these games??? I was absolutely screaming at the Akai for some inspired play. I don't get it. They know they play like shit coming out of halftime and they continue to do nothing to correct it. If the Cavs want to win this series, they need to win a 3rd quarter in Detroit. It's that simple. The Cavs are the better team in this series but have yet to put together a full game. If they can do that once in Detroit, they will win this series.

--Is Daniel "Boobie" Gibson the running mate that LBJ needs? It looks like he could be. He's playing fearless right now and has showed a lot of versatility in his game. I really like this kid, maybe he can be the next Tony Parker. But please Boobie, don't emulate his off-court lifestyle. We don't need a rap album from you. But I wouldn't mind seeing you with some Hollywood sugar-mama...Julia Louis-Dreyfuss was at the game last night...I'm not saying, but I'm just saying.

--Larry Hughes showed a lot of heart last night. He obviously wasn't going to be able to do much, but him suiting up allowed D-Gib to come off the bench where he is most comfortable. Way to man up, LH.

--I've been shocked that the Pistons haven't been able to put together a game when their frontcourt and backcourt simultaneously play well. It's been their biggest downfall. They can't find a good balance. This is probably due to Flip Saunders being one of the worst coaches of all time.

--I've hammered Drew Gooden a lot in the past for his insane ability to mail-in big games, but the guy was clutch last night. I thought his technical on Rasheed was just another notch on his "Dumbest Player in All of Hoops" belt. But what do you know, it seemed to motivate him and the team and got Rasheed so mad that he was worthless the rest of the game (including picking up his own moronic T because he has no self-control).

--I like Chauncey Billups. I really do. But what the hell has happened to him this series? He has completely melted down time after time. His running three with 37 seconds last night was right up there with any shot taken by Eric Snow as "worst shot ever". He's hurting his contract for this offseason with this series.

--How about all those "big name" celebs at the game last night??? Elaine Benes, some guy from Grey's Anatomy, the homoerotic franchise QB Brady Quinn, and...GERALDO RIVERA!!! I've scowered the 'net this morning looking for pics of Geraldo from the game last night but to no avail. How great was his look: Colored frames, handlebar mustache, and a red ascot tied around his neck like a "prep". Classic Geraldo.

--What can you say about King James...when he wants to be aggressive and assertive, NO ONE can stop him.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, the Cavs are going to win this series. I think they lose game 5 but win games 6 and 7.

On a final note, right after the game last night I received a text message from faithful blog reader, former Napoleon Wildcat QB, and Cavs fan, Berger. It read like this:

"Now we go and we're taking Geraldo Rivera with us."

Truer words have never been spoken.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Let's All Boot, Rasheed




This is just too good not to post. I'd like to thank Columbus Cavs for hooking it up.

Can you imagine if former Redhawks Punting Great, Kent "Big Boot" McCullough gave Rasheed The Boot???

Whitewashin'

While watching the Spurs/Jazz game last night, I threw out the careless observation that Utah could probably utilize a Whitewash on San Antonio if they chose to (white-wash, noun, to have all white guys on the court at the same time to completely throw off your opponent's game).


This was a ridiculous statement though since after some in-depth NBA roster research, and ruling out Rafael Araujo as a white guy, the Jazz can go 4 deep at best.

But there are 4 NBA squadrons that can pull off this tremendous feat. Notice that 3 of these 4 teams made the playoffs.


Charlotte - Primo Brezec, Matt Carroll, Walter Herrmann, Adam "The Stache" Morrison, and Jake Voskuhl (he's still in the league?)


Orlando - Travis Diener, Pat Garrity (awful), DARKO, Hedo Turkoglu, and your boy, JJ Redick


Toronto - Andrea Bargnani, Kris Humphries, Luke Jackson, Uros Slokar, and Rasho Nesterovic


and the shocker...


San Antonio - Brent Barry, Matt Bonner, Fabricio Uberto, Beno Udrih, and Manu Ginobili (I gave the white guy nod to Ginobili due to his ever-growing bald spot; a trademark for white athletes).


What does this all mean anyway? Well apparently, the more white guys you stockpile on your bench, the more success your team should have. I'm talking to you, John Thompson. Maybe you would have won more than one national title during your reign of terror at Georgetown if you had loaded up on a few more white guys!!!


Couple of notes on some white guys from the Western Conference Finals (I've thrown both of these out there over the course of this series):


1.) Fabricio Uberto looks like a guy that starred in a FOX drama that was cancelled in 3 episodes or less.

2.) Matt Harpring (pictured) looks like the guy that takes "open gym" games way too seriously. Much like my douche bag doctor who, after I picked his pocket and was going in for a thunderous dunk, completely hammered me with the force of 10 Jake Voskuhl's. The asshole caused a severely sprained ankle to this blog and actually complained that I called a foul. I hate my fucking doctor.


Anyway, on to a less white series, the Cavs go for the series split tonight and they should get it done. After all, Larry Hughes not playing is always a good thing.

Monday, May 28, 2007

Friday, May 25, 2007

Thoughts From Game 2

I posted my thought on OCP this morning...here they are:

I don't know what to say quite frankly. The Cavs have controlled both games and are down 0-2. They have played near perfect defense. The bench is stepping up. They've taken the crowd out of the game. After the game last night, I think I just said "what the fuck" for about 3 minutes straight. Followed by a 30 minute sitting on the deck in silence period. I don't get it. The Cavs have proved that they are just as good as the Pistons are (like it or not, it's true). Yet they can't get over the hump. Couple of things not related to the last 30 seconds because that's being beaten to death:

--Drew Gooden should not even dress for this series, absolutely worthless. I was thinking of this yesterday, with Portland having a logjam in the paint with Oden, why not offer up a Gooden and Shannon Brown package for Zach Randolph???

--Jason Maxiell was big last night. It was a good thing he got released from prison before the game.

--I expect the Cavs to win both games in Cleveland. They KNOW they can beat this team, they aren't that good. It's not 2006, we've closed the gap.

--This is a Damon Jones and Boobie series, I don't want to see E-Snow on the court with the exception of last possession's of quarters.

--Manu is a flopper. Vlade Divac was a flopper. Varejao is not on their level. He takes charges when guys run uncontrolled down the paint. They aren't one on one charges like those two take. I don't think it would look as bad if his hair wasn't like that.

--On the officiating: I LIKE the way the games have been called. If they called it tight, the Cavs would get killed due to their poor FT shooting. Should one of those plays in the last 30 seconds have been called though, absolutely.

--I agree with the TNT guys after the game, why did the Cavs come out at halftime trying to force the action through Z??? LeBron was owning that game and we're trying to get Z involved? Bad decision by MB.

--One of these days, the Cavs are going to play with intensity in a 3rd quarter and it's going to be glorious.

--Why the basketball Gods seem to be favoring a team that Chris Webber is on is beyond me. I fucking hate this guy. How can you root for a guy that accepted bribes in college, committed purgery, and tanked on purpose to force his team to dump him. Fuck him and fuck any team he plays for. He sucks anyway.

--My main problem with Mike Brown is that he doesn't show fire. Refs can walk all over him. I don't care that his offense is suited for before the shot clock was invented, his mild-mannered behavior sucks. Believe me, I don't ever want to see this guy in Cleveland again, but Paul Silas would've gotten one of those two plays at the end of the game to go his way. A Popovich, Phil Jackson, Riley team is getting that call even if it is on the road. Mike, if you're reading this, GO NUTS ON THE REFS DURING YOUR PRESS CONFERENCE AND TAKE YOUR FINE LIKE A MAN.

--Lastly, isn't it amazing that all the East haters are now talking about this series while no one is talking about the West at all??? Cavs are still going to win this series.

On to Game 3, time to put up or shut up.

Farnsworth Vs. Thomas

The 2007 Glenallen Hill Memorial Toughest Baseball PlayerTournament of Champions

Da Meat Hook narrowly escaped his week-long slugfest with Aaron Rowand to be the first to enter the semfinals of The 2007 Glenallen Hill Memorial Toughest Baseball Player Tournament of Champions. Who will join him from the AL side of things???

1.) Frank Thomas Vs. 5.) Kyle Farnsworth



Frank Thomas has more than enough size standing at a massive 8'9" and 412 pounds. The veteran ass-crusher/kicker has wreaked havoc over the gay communities of Chicago, Oakland, anw now Toronto with such brute force, that queers in those three cities now live in fear constantly and hide up in their attics like Anne Frank.



If this was a toughest pitcher competition, Farnsworth would win in a walk with maybe a little challenge from Zumaya The Hut. K-Farn can really mix it up as you can tell from the pic and has instigated a number of bench-clearers in his day. Will be a tough out for any competitor. And I LOVE the new glasses look.

Who wins this clash of the titans, you tell me.

Who Wins, The Big Hurt or K-Farn?
1.) Frank Thomas
5.) Kyle Farnsworth
pollcode.com free polls



No post on Monday due to the holiday...I'll try to squeeze another one in this afternoon. It will more than likely be about the fist-fucking that the Cavs received in both games in Detroit.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

A Great Mystery

With Game 2 of the Cavs/Pistons happening tonight, I thought today would be a good time to get some answers to things I don't understand.

Why does the NBA continue to allow Richard Hamilton to wear his face protector 5 years after he injured himself???

Does this make any sense at all? No one else does this. And this completely changes how games are played. What is stopping Rip from taking it the rack? He doesn't have to worry about catching an elbow from Dikembe Mutombo or a slap to the face from Carmelo. But everyone else in the league has that concern. Not Rip, he's well protected.

This is akin to a guy having knee surgery, being relegated to a wheelchair for a week or two, and then saying "You know what, fuck it, keep wheeling me around."

I mean, HE DOESN'T NEED IT ANYMORE!!! I'm all about taking preventative measures to reduce the risk of injury, but this vag takes it too far for my liking. Be a man, Rip, take the pussy-ass mask off, and graciously receive the playoff elbow that you so rightfully deserve.

After all, when Frank Drebin was put in jail during Naked Gun 33 1/3 and wore the iron underwear in the shower to negate the sodomy when he dropped the soap, I'm pretty damn sure he quit wearing it when he got out of the clink.

Go Cavs, don't forget to vote for the toughman contest which concludes tomorrow morning.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Rejoice in the Pacific Northwest

Listen for it. You hear that? That's the sound of millions of Seattle and Portland residents screaming in delight at the result of the NBA Lottery last night.

So now Greg Oden should be going to Portland to complete their college all-star team (Aldridge, Roy, Jack, Oden, and Randolph) and Kevin Durant is on his way to Seattle to save basketball in that city. Partner Durant with Ray Allen and Rashard Lewis and that is a flat out sick trio.

The big losers last night were obviously Memphis and Boston, two teams that absolutely tanked their seasons and it is fitting that both will not be rewarded with either of these two franchise saving players.

Atlanta is also a big time winner seeing that they they got into the top 3, don't have to give their pick to Phoenix because of that, and also have the 11th pick. I'm thinking that the Hawks take Conley, Jr. at 3 and a big at 11 (maybe Hibbert or Hawes).

The last winner(s) of the night were the entire Eastern Conference who will not have to play against Durant and Oden more than twice a year. The Western Conference just got a TON tougher and as a Cavs fan, I couldn't be more pleased.

Finally, my favorite part of the Lottery Show last night was when it was down to the Final 3 teams and they had Dominique, Lenny Wilkins, and Brandon Roy standing next to each other awaiting the outcome. When the creepy Adam Silver pulled Atlanta at #3, you could see 'Nique cringe a bit that they wouldn't be getting either of the Big 2, good stuff. And I thought it was great that, when Portland was announced as receiving the #1 pick, the HUGE smile that Brandon Roy was sporting was priceless. It was one of those, "Holy shit, I just won the Rookie of the Year and now I get to play with Greg Oden" faces. Good stuff, great display of human emotion.

In other news, the San Antonio Foreigners defeated the Utah Fightin' Mormons to take a 2-0 series lead and still no one cares.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

24 Sucks

No, no, Keifer, I should be doing that to you.

There's a lot going on in the sports world right now between the NBA playoffs, the Bengals lack of decency and common sense, The NBA Draft Lottery tonight, Red Sox/Yankees, etc., but I need to get something off my chest. And I need to do it now while the venom is still in my blood.

24 SUCKS.

Jack, if I were you, I would be flipping off the entire writing staff after one of the worst seasons in the history of TV. The first four hours were some good ass shit, but the remaining 20 were so bad that The CW wouldn't have aired them.

Let me clarify this, 24 is a great show. I started watching last year. After the first four hours, I immediately started plowing through the first four "days" and watched them all within 3 months. It was THAT good. Incredibly engaging. This season? I've never rolled my eyes, made snide remarks, or randomly swore more in my life. There was no payoff and they continued to throw love triangles and human emotion at us over blowing shit up which everyone wants to see anyway.

How would I fix it, you ask? Well the answer is five-fold...and I guess you could say I'm bringing back my old Airing of Grievances segment.

1. Kill off Chloe - Great, we find out last night that Chloe is knocked up. Just what we all wanted. The biggest nerd in tv history, other than Urkel, also enjoys unprotected dweeb-sex. She sucks. It's time for her to go.

2. Get out of LA - I've read that this is going to happen. I've always wondered, "Why do people still live in LA when they get targeted by terrorists on a semi-daily basis?" Does this make any sense. At some point, Joe Lunchpail has to think that LA might not be the best place to raise a family with all the toxic gas and nukes going off.

3. Turn Jack loose again - This season was all about the emotional side of Jack with his love for Audrey "Penisnose" Rains and the disdain for his father. No one cares what's going on in Jack's personal life. We want to see him mutilate minorities...THAT'S IT.

4. No more Palmers - I honestly think that after season 3, if Dennis Haysbert had run for President, a TON of people would have voted for him. But that doesn't mean his family on the show is entertaining or engaging. Let Sandra and Wayne The Adulterer go away...far, far away.

5. Naked Chicks - If any network would do this, it would be FOX. But seriously, I'll just say it again, KILL CHLOE.

That's it, that's all that needs to be said about 24. I would be even more pissed about this if The Sopranos and The Shield weren't so incredible this season.

NBA Lottery tonight, which I love, I'm going with Memphis gets the #1 pick and in an upset, Philly gets the #2.

Monday, May 21, 2007

Preview: The Ultimate Battle of Good Vs. Evil

I was all set to blog about the amazing pitching/acne of Yankees rookie pitcher, Tyler Clippard, this morning. No, that's a lie. I'm not going to talk about the Yankees again until those bums get back to .500. My intention has always been to give my preview of the conference finals matchup that no one cares about. That's right, THE EASTERN CONFERENCE!!! And I don't understand why people don't care. Do these two teams hate each other? Does this series have the only superstar left? Do both teams have coaches with weird facial ticks? Yes, yes, and most definitely yes.

Let's break it down.

Will the Pistons zone/double teaming of LeBron work?
--It will...to an extent. LeBron is going to get his 20-25 points per game. He isn't going to blow up for 40 in this series, it isn't going to happen. That puts the onus on his teammates to knock down shots. What does that mean? It means you will be seeing a lot more of the lineup that the Cavs had on the court for the last quarter of Game 6 vs. NJ with Boobie Gibson, D-Marsh, and Damon Jones and a lot less Larry Hughes and Eric Snow. If the Cavs can consistently hit jumpers at somewhere around 45%, there is only a slim chance that the Pistons can win the series. But they haven't made 45% all season so why start now?

Who wins on the glass?
--The Cavs are the best offensive rebounding team in the league, which just goes to show how bad their shooters are. The Pistons big men, with the exception of Jason Maxiell, are old and decrepit and rely on savvy over skill at this point in their careers. The Cavs should be able to control the boards which should keep the games close.

Will homecourt matter?
--Kind of, the Pistons have played some real turds in their barn this season but are also the best road team in the league. The Cavs rely heavily on the atmosphere at The Q (except for game 5's diarrhea vs. NJ). I see homecourt only mattering if it goes 7 games.

Who's got the mo?
--Both teams ended their last series with dominating wins on the road. Individually, all the Pistons regulars except for Webber have been playing well in the playoffs. The Cavs got monster performances from Gibson and Marshall in the last game. They need to continue with that kind of effort and touch in this series. LeBron can't afford to mail-in any games this series, and I doubt he will, he knows what's at stake.

What about the coaching?
--Both coaches are pretty stupid. Flip Saunders couldn't win with Garnett and leads the league in jaw extensions. Mike Brown let's Damon Jones and LeBron handle more of the strategy than his staff does and also smushes his face mroe than anyone in the history of hoops. This is a wash, both coaches just roll out the balls.

Who wants this more?
--As a former Clevelander, the hatred toward Detroit is almost parallel to the hatred of Pittsburgh. I would say that Cleveland has sort of an inferiority complex when it comes to the sports successes that Detroit has enjoyed in their trailers over the years. The Pistons are back to what makes them great: A robotic nature that's sole focus is on winning another title. As "Wise" LeBron says, "Michael had to go through Detroit, too". LeBron wants to continue to build his legacy and take the next step. He knows they can win this series after last season. The Cavs and the city is so hungry for sports success that it's ridiculous.

Who does the NBA want?
--David "Series Ruiner" Stern won't say it, but he wants the Cavs in the Finals. Now that the West is going to produce a good team from a poor media market, he needs to counter that with a superstar that people want to watch. The Cavs may not be the most exciting team in the world (hell, they might be the least exciting team in the world), but most people would tune in to watch LeBron. The NBA doesn't want another disaster ratings finals with SA/DET rematch from 2005 or Utah/DET. Expect the Cavs to get a lot of calls in this series.

What will happen?
--I may be a homer, but I also believe in David Stern's crookedness. The Cavs are going to win this series. It'd be easy to say they win in 6, but I'm saying LeBron cements his place as the greatest player east of LA and walks out of Detroit winning a game 7 on the road. Either way, it should be interesting. There will be some quality "playoff fouls" in this series. The hatred just runs too deep.

Saturday, May 19, 2007

All Hail The King

He's not my King. He's not your King. He's our King.

Fuck the Pistons. Fuck Detroit.

Friday, May 18, 2007

First Seminal Semifinal Matchup

The 2007 Glenallen Hill Memorial Toughest Baseball PlayerTournament of Champions

Alright, the conference semifinals are set on both sides. I'm switching it up a bit. For the remainder of the tournament, each fight to the death poll will be open for a week, culminating on Friday. Here's the first semifinal from the National League side.

8.) Dmitri Young vs. 5.) Aaron Rowand



Da Meat Hook is one hell of a wife-beating deviant. I was trying to locate his mugshot, this is what you get. He is currently comprising the role of the Golden State Warriors in this tournament, but will he be able to advance to the conference finals after the brawl with Carlos Delgado??? One thing he does have going for him is that he has been training with Mason "The Line" Dixon.



Aaron Rowand, while I think he sucks as a player, is really a man's man. He looks like the kind of guy that would walk up to the biggest guy at a party, hit him in the jaw, and just kick his ass. Like I said before, he's a real scrapper and he's got the scars to prove it. And after his hard-fought win over the "Fightin' Mustache" Jeff Kent, fatigue may play a factor. We'll let you decide.

Who Wins, Da Meat Hook or Scrappy Doo?
8.) Dmitri Young
5.) Aaron Rowand
pollcode.com free polls



There it is, the polls are open until next Friday morning. Go Cavs!

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Pug Fugly

I was fully prepared to blog about the Cavs arrival into the Eastern Conference Finals today but then I got a call from Lee Corso in which he said "not so fast my friend" and used his trademark pencil as an anal thermometer on me. What a disgrace of a game that was.

If James Naismith were still alive today, he would've walked into the Cavs locker room after the game and pissed on every last one of them. That was terrible. And I'm being kind.

I watch a ton of basketball. I get the intricacies of the game. I consider myself in the 99th percentile of people that know what basketball is about, especially the NBA, and how you win games. I respect a good game. I respect effort. I respect passion (which is why I like Joakim "Jo-No" Noah). The Cavs did nothing last night. Nothing. A complete and utter turd. A turd sandwich one might say.

When the best things you can say about your team is, "Eric Snow played with a lot of heart" and "Big Z had one hell of a first half", you know they lost. And lost bad they did.

Larry Hughes was 3-17. LeBron mailed in the game. Gooden sucked. The referees were awful (make up your fucking mind, are you going to let them play or are you going to call everything). Mikki Moore continued to be the biggest thug on the planet. Bostjan Nachbar gave everyone sitting in section 105, rows 3-9, rimjobs.

And that leads me to the worst player on the planet, Donyell Marshall. Other than Oliver Miller and Stanley Roberts, has an NBA player ever gained 30 pounds of flab over the course of a season??? I mean he's bigger than Tractor Traylor now. And in the 10 or so minutes he played last night, he brought this to the buffet table: 0-7, 2 airballs, and he ate a little kid's soft pretzel during a TV timeout. So to fuck him over even more, I'm going to post his cell phone number up for the world to see and hopefully you all leave numerous "YOU SUCK" messages for him. Don't ask how I got it, let's just say that I have connections. And if you ever want to call Carson Palmer, Bernie Kosar, Rueben Droughns, or Chris Chambers, I can hook you up with those numbers as well.

847-774-4200

Fuck you, Donyell, this is the only way you'll learn.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

David Stern Is A Poopy Pants Buttface

I would, first of all, like to thank David Stern for ruining the only watchable series left (and yes, I'm a Cavs fan so that's saying something). Your blatant disregard to human emotion does not go unnoticed by this blog. You decided to suspend two stars for doing nothing but defending their two time MVP teammate who was just drilled into the score table. And by "defending", I really mean, take 5 steps toward the melee, do nothing, and return to the bench. That earned Amare and Diaw one game off and I couldn't agree more (sarcasm). You go ahead, Davey-boy, and sit behind your desk and stroke your rulebook, but you just killed the postseason. You gave the series to a team that no one wants to watch, that no one likes, that no one can get behind. And for what? Your own massive ego. I think you've done some amazing things as commissioner, Dav-o, but you competely fucked your league on this one.

Which leads me to the ESPN column written yesterday by Page 2's resident bloody tampon, Jemele Hill. Listen to this garbage, I'll interject when I feel like I'm needed.

A historical question: Could Robert Horry's cheap shot on Steve Nash in Game 4 be the biggest shot of his career?
The trey Horry nailed to destroy the Sacramento Kings' NBA title hopes in 2002 did nothing compared to the damage his forearm could do to the Phoenix Suns, who until the final 18 seconds of Monday night's critical Game 4 were tougher than the San Antonio Spurs. The forearm buried Nash underneath the scorer's table, but most importantly, it incited Amare Stoudemire and Boris Diaw to charge onto the court from the bench -- which all but guarantees them a suspension for Game 5 in Phoenix.
Hey, they don't call him Big Shot Bob for nothing.


Yes, you're reading that right, she is condoning Horry's action as a stroke of genius.

If the NBA hands out the expected suspensions, the Spurs will lose only the whopping seven points per game Horry is averaging in this series. Meanwhile, Phoenix will lose two of its top six players and a serious chance to put the Spurs' neck in a guillotine.
Is it fair? No. Is it right? Absolutely. The NBA doesn't have much choice but to suspend Horry, Stoudemire and Diaw for Game 5.

Actually, Jemele, Horry averages under 5 points in the series while Diaw and Stoudemire, WHO DID NOTHING WRONG, average around 30 combined. Does that seem "right"?

The rule about players leaving the bench is there to prevent situations from escalating into utter embarrassments. It's an ironclad rule that isn't open to interpretation, and it can't be applied differently because it adversely affects one team more than the other. In fact, the point of the rule is to affect teams so adversely they don't break it.

Did the situation escalate? Did it, you dumb bitch!!! And absolutely it can be open to interpretation. Why can't Stern and Stu Jackson review each situation on a case by case basis???

If the league does nothing to Stoudemire and Diaw, it will set an awful precedent and send the message that the rules are vulnerable to perception and public outcry. As if the Suns are the only team in NBA history that can claim this rule puts them at an unfair disadvantage.
And there's no way Stoudemire just was ambling to the scorer's table to check back into the game, as he claimed afterward. Give him (or the Suns' PR rep) credit for coming up with such a cute excuse. But go watch the replay. Stoudemire broke out into a Carl Lewis-like sprint toward the on-court scrum -- looking like he wanted to do to Horry what Uma Thurman did to David Carradine in the final scene of "Kill Bill: Vol. 2" -- which weakens Stoudemire's creative explanation.


The precedent that it would set is that you can't pull a Jon Cheney on the opposing team and "send in the goons" to kill the other team's star and wait for the fallout to deplete the other team. Yes, the Suns statement that Amare was checking in was a bit hilarious, but can you irrefutably say that he wasn't going in? Do we know what the Suns gameplan was at that exact moment? No.

Look, I get why Stoudemire and Diaw rushed to Nash's defense. Nash is their boy, and teammates are obligated to stick up for one another -- especially in a series that has grown as testy as this one. The Spurs were behaving uncharacteristically graceless, and Horry's forearm of frustration was exacted because the Spurs blew an 11-point lead late in the game -- and thus a golden opportunity to put their foot on Phoenix's neck.

So, again, how is this justifiable that the Suns have to take it in the ass for the Spurs having no class???

But given how commissioner David Stern has shown zero tolerance for player misconduct since the Detroit-Indiana brawl, what Stoudemire and Diaw did simply wasn't smart. And by the way, did you notice how the Spurs' bench stayed put, further undermining Stoudemire's contrived explanation?

The Spurs bench stayed put because Steve Nash is not on the Spurs and their bench was not right on top of the incident. You are a fucking moron, Jemele.

You'd have thought the Suns would have learned from Raja Bell's one-game playoff suspension against the Lakers last year. Bell's clothesline on Kobe Bryant could have cost the Suns that series.

That has nothing to do with the situation from Monday night. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!!!

The Spurs are much stronger than the Lakers, and losing Stoudemire and Diaw will hurt a whole lot more than losing Bell. Even if the league decides to suspend Horry for two games, Phoenix will be affected much more.

Hey, Corky from Life Goes On could have figured that out.

Of course, this is going to fuel speculation that Horry's cheap shot was on purpose. But all it does is show exactly how much the Spurs are in Phoenix's head.

Not really following you with that untrue statement in which you back it up with no facts.

The Suns won Game 4, but the Spurs are winning the mental war. The Suns' gritty victory was powerful enough to change this series permanently in their direction, but they've now given the power back to the Spurs with one bad decision.
The Spurs maintain a certain advantage as long they can yank Phoenix's chain whenever they want. And Big Shot Bob's reputation for delivering in the playoffs continues to be well-deserved.


Once again, she glorifies this cheap shot as one of the greatest moments in the history of hoops. How did she get hired by ESPN anyway??? She sucks, every article is horrible and full of misinformation.

Oh well, tonight we've got my Cavs trying to get in the Eastern Conference Finals for the first time since Mark Price, Ron Harper, Hot Rod Williams, and NASCAR analyst Brad Daugherty were lighting up Richfield Coliseum.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Last Pair of First Round Matchups

The 2007 Glenallen Hill Memorial Toughest Baseball PlayerTournament of Champions

Today, we here at the Blog de Sickness are running the last of the first round matchups in our baseball toughman tournament. After both 6 seeds won in upsets this past week, who knows how the sevens will fair this time around. One thing is for sure, the NL side is nuttier than squirrel turds with every underdog winning thus far. Will that end, you decide.

2.) Gary Sheffield vs 7.) Rondell White



While Sheff is a clubhouse cancer and lunatic, you can't discount the fact that he can beat some ass. Not the tallest guy in the world, he makes up for his lack of height with sheer will power and an ability to always be the craziest person in the skirmish. Being related to Doc Gooden only helps his unpredictability. And who knows, with him being related to Doc, he could be coked up and that's not good for his opponent.



I don't know what it is about Rondell, but he always scared the shit out of me. I'd bet he pisses on underage girls, R-Kelly style. Rondell, to me at least, looks like a guy that would take a bat to the mound during a eban brawl that he wasn't even involved in and just start whacking away. He would be the guy that goes too far in that situation.

Who Wins, Sheff or Ro-Diggity?
2.) Gary Sheffield
7.) Rondell White
pollcode.com free polls


2.) Carlos Lee vs. 7) So Taguchi



Now this is a scary individual. Nicknamed "El Caballo", which is Mexican for "Motherfuckin' Badass". Legend has it that Carlos was forced out of Milwaukee not because they couldn't afford him, but because there was no one left in Wisconsin to kill. Wisconsin: Population - 1



Taguchi may not look like much, but the guy is trained ninja with a black heart. Few people know that in the picture, it was taken a second before he killed the photographer and the kid without even moving. But what else would you expect from a guy trained by old WWF manager, Mr. Fuji. Taguchi's legend may soon grow to the same level as Chuck Norris.

Who Wins, El Caballo or Piston Honda?
2.) Carlos Lee
7.) So Taguchi
pollcode.com free polls



OK, there you go, last first rounders. Go out and vote.

On a side note, a couple of great NBA games last night with the Cavs and Suns both winning crucial road games. Since this blog is a massive Cavs fan, we must brag a bit...bring on Detroit.

Monday, May 14, 2007

Queer Eye For The Straight Blog

After all the hard work of getting some traffic on this site (I averaged about 250 hits per week and last week alone was over 600), I'm going to kill all my momentum today. That's right, this blog is going queer!!! Hopefully, it's only for one day, but the gays are a powerful bunch and may not want to give up my blog. Anyway, here's two stories from the last week that make me feel like I may be heading in that direction.

1.) I found out, courtesy of faithful reader, Johnny Swim, something very disturbing. Apparently, while this blog was starting at right tackle on the 1998 Division III Regional Finalist Napoleon High School football team, I was blocking for the future 2005 Gay Magazine Man of the Year. Boy, that hurts. Now while I realize he's not gay himself, I mean, I was even invited to his wedding two days before it happened (don't ask), it still gives you that dirty feeling that you shared the same huddle with a guy who would one day allow himself to be photographed for the pleasure of butt pirates. I've always said this is a fucking family blog, so I'm not going to post the link, you'll thank me later. I'm almost positive that I have no female/homo readers, but if I do, google the name "Derec Alexander". I warn you though, it sucks. I would one more time like to reiterate that this story was asked to be blogged about by Johnny Swim!!!

2.) I was really looking forward to this weekend. Both the roommates were out of town so I could just lay on the couch and do nothing. It was going to be great. Until Saturday night. I had all the intentions of watching the Suns/Spurs game but after the Cavs showcased one of the most uninspiring playoff performances of all time, I was done with hoops for the day. So, 8 pm rolls around and I decide to hit up the last Lord of the Rings movie on TBS. I'm having a good time, you know, laughing at how it seems like all the hobbits have sex with each other, when TBS goes to commercial. I start looking for a flipback because this blog does not tolerate commercials. Where do I end up??? Star Wars. Yep, I'm watching Lord of the Rings with a Star Wars flipback and LOVING every minute of it. To complete the Queer Trifecta, I made the decision to drink a bottle of wine. Now granted, it was a good bottle, but nevertheless, it should have never happened. So to summarize, my Saturday night was all about Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, and a bottle of wine. I might as well go out and buy some assless chaps now.

I should just leave work early today and go to a strip club to get the nasty smell of man-goo off of me and, more importantly, this blog.

We'll get back to good old-fashioned straight-blogs tomorrow.

Rest in Peace, Christopher Moltisanti

Friday, May 11, 2007

Some 3/6-er's For The Weekend

The 2007 Glenallen Hill Memorial Toughest Baseball PlayerTournament of Champions

The National League race is shaping up to be just like the Western NBA playoffs this year with both the 5 and 8 seed pulling mammoth upsets. Over in the AL, Kyle Farnsworth dominated Vlad The Impaler and earned the right to raise fisticuffs with Frank Thomas in the conference semis. 3's and 6's today:

3.) Travis Hafner vs 6.) Wily Mo Pena



Hafner is quite a specimen. Nicknamed "Pronk" because I guess he's half project and half donkey. I will just assume then that his finishing move in this tournament will be The Pronkey Punch. Come to think of it, this tournament was lacking in homoerotic activities.



Eventhough he plays for the Red Sox, I like Wily Mo. He did come up through the Yankees farm system. Anyway, Wily Mo is one scary mo-fo. I mean, look at the picture, the main source of food for this guy is wood and he washes it down with pine tar. Yum-a-dum-dum. He also looks like Clinton Portis and that always helps.

Who Wins, Pronk or Portis Look-a-like?
3.) Travis Hafner
6.) Wily Mo Pena
pollcode.com free polls


3.) Adam Dunn vs. 6.) Henry Blanco



Dunn is a monster. He's got size comparable to Bill Brasky. Always described as being "country strong", I assume this means that he bench presses sheep and drinks out of a cow's utter or something. You're going to be a tough out when you're a hillbilly only because you don't know any better.



OK, I know what you're thinking...Henry Blanco??? This is more of a sentimental pick to me. Last year while attending a Cubs/Indians game with some boyz, we did a home run pool, I drew the second pick, and I picked Blanco even though he only had one home run and it was June. Why? Because he still rocks the Mexican Mullet, he's slower than Gilbert Brown after a trip to Ponderosa, and he looks like an "essay" or however it's spelled. Throw a backwards bandana on Blanco and you KNOW you're going to walk to the other side of the street. But does he have enough to beat a poor dumb country mouse???

Who Wins, The Greenhorn or Nachos Libre?
3.) Adam Dunn
6.) Henry Blanco
pollcode.com free polls


I'll probably be back for another quick post tomorrow since I have to work, have a good weekend.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Next Time I'll Just Kick You In The Nuts

Once again, I slept in an 80 degree bedroom last night so I'm a little on edge today...more than likely borderline homicidal. Here's why:

1. I lost a King's ransom (whatever the fuck that means) betting on the Warriors +3.5 last night. That's not really true, but I did lose 20 bones because Mickael Pietrus's french ass can't make a damn free throw. No wonder everyone hates the French. If Golden State wasn't playing Utah, I would totally be off of the bandwagon right now. If Pietrus came up to me today, I'd rip out his heart Temple of Doom-style as he did the same to me last night. Seriously though, why do I do this? I tell everyone, "Don't gamble on the NBA, it's fixed." Yet, I'm dumb enough not to follow the advice from the smartest man in the world...myself.

2. I've read all week, Ryan Howard will not be playing in the series against Arizona except for possible pinch hitting situations. I'm thinking to myself, "Good, this guy has been killing Cory Lidle Airlines (my team name) all season with his ineptness but at least now I can sit him and put in NO-MAH for a day or three." What happens last night? Charlie "Gomer Pyle" Manuel pinch hits him and the fantasy team killer rocks a grand slam. Thanks a lot, Ryan. I ride an entire six week stretch out with you and your accompanying shittiness and when you're not supposed to play, you do the most damage. Well, you're going back into the starting lineup this weekend, so you better be ready to post your usual series numbers: .125, 0 HR, 1 RBI, 12 K's.

3. One more thing, totally not related to sports. What's the deal with airline food? No, just kidding. What's the deal with those new Berries and Creme Starburst commercials??? They have this ferry with a Pete Rose haircut dancing around acting like a total h-mo while wearing a Peter Pan costume. I don't understand it. Is Starburst saying that people will act like fruits for these things? Or that only gay people like this stuff. Are they making a product for Tim Hardaway to purposely despise? It's such a stupid commercial. I will never by those fucking things just because of this.

Alright I'm out, at least we have A/C here at work. Ours is supposed to be fixed today but who the fuck knows. Last day to vote in the tournament, new matchups tomorrow.

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

My First Blog About OJ

This was going to be a blog about the awesomeness of LeBron James, but this was just too good to pass up. The greatness of this blog has just multiplied due to my first, of hopefully many, blogs about Orenthal James. Here's the story:

"LOUISVILLE, Ky. - The owner of an upscale steakhouse in Louisville said he asked O.J. Simpson to leave his restaurant the night before the Kentucky Derby because he is sickened by the attention Simpson still attracts."

HA!

“I didn’t want to serve him because of my convictions of what he’s done to those families,” Jeff Ruby said in a telephone interview Tuesday. “The way he continues to torture the lives of those families ... with his behavior, attitude and conduct.”

But Jeff Ruby has no problems with his restaurant serving Barbaro steaks.

“I didn’t want that experience in my restaurant,” Ruby said, later adding that seeing Simpson get so much attention “makes me sick to my stomach.”

Again, that sickness probably had nothing to do with his restaturant serving up horse meat.

He said he went to Simpson’s table and said, “I’m not serving you.” Ruby said when Simpson didn’t respond, he repeated himself and left the room. Ruby said Simpson soon came up to him and said he understood and would gather the rest of his party to leave.

It's easy to hide behind the whole "not catering to a murderer" angle, Mr. Ruby, but we all know you wouldn't serve him because he's black and was a spokesman for Hertz.

“It was the first time since 1994 he has ever shown any class,” Ruby said. “He showed it that night in the restaurant” by leaving quietly.

OJ's a class act, dammit!!! But you know as well as I do that he's currently waiting for Ruby to come home (insert bloody glove joke).

I wish I was there. Since they didn't mention any of the other 12 people in OJ's party, I will assume that he was accompanied by Mark Fuhrman, Lance Ito, the corpse of Johnny Cochran, Marcia Clark, Christopher Darden, Kato Kaelin, Robert Shapiro, Alan Dershowtiz, the corpse of F. Lee Bailey, Frank Drebin, Reggie Jackson, and the corpse of Anna Nicole Smith.

The ultimate "Where Were You" for my generation has to be the OJ verdict (or 9/11, but I was sleeping so that doesn't count) and I know exactly where I was...6th period Latin 1, Freshman year of high school. I still can't believe they paused all classes and turned it on the Channel One (remember that pointless shit) TV's. God, Latin sucked.

My dad actually bought a "Let the Juice Loose" t-shirt. Good times.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Couple of 4/5 Matchups In TGHMTBPToC

The 2007 Glenallen Hill Memorial Toughest Baseball PlayerTournament of Champions

Dick Vitale's head just exploded as an 8 seed has defeated a one (Da Meat Hook takes down Delgado). Frank Thomas held serve over Milton Bradley and now it's time to see who they will be fighting in the quarterfinals.



When you're nickname is The Impaler, you know you're a bad ass. While I've never seen Vlad do anything crazy or aggressive on the field, you just know that after games he unwinds by mutilating a few hookers.



If this was a toughest pitcher competition, Farnsworth would win in a walk with maybe a little challenge from Zumaya The Hut. K-Farn can really mix it up as you can tell from the pic and has instigated a number of bench-clearers in his day. Will be a tough out for any competitor. And I LOVE the new glasses look.

Who Wins, The Impaler or the Modern Day Rick Vaughn?
4.) Vladimir Guerrero
5.) Kyle Farnsworth
pollcode.com free polls




You may be thinking, why the fuck is Jeff Kent on this list? The answer is twofold: 1. He wanted to kill Barry Bonds and 2. He has an awesomely wispy mustache. Guys with mustaches are a lot tougher than the non-mustachioed...I know the weekend where I sported mine no one touched me.



Aaron Rowand, while I think he sucks as a player, is really a man's man. He looks like the kind of guy that would walk up to the biggest guy at a party, hit him in the jaw, and just kick his ass. Like I said before, he's a real scrapper and he's got the scars to prove it.

Who Wins, Von Kaiser or Scrappy Doo?
4.) Jeff Kent
5.) Aaron Rowand
pollcode.com free polls


P-Diddy said VOTE OR DIE. Matt Thompson said "Vote or die, it's a slogan not a threat." You've got until Friday, let your voice be heard.

Monday, May 07, 2007

Quit Calling Me Steve Howe

First of all, this is an EXCLUSIVE. This blog was able to get it's hands on a copy of Reds OF Josh Hamilton's autobiography entitled Quit Calling Me Steve Howe. It is quite graphic. Hamilton describes his life as a baseball player/junkie as well as anyone I have ever read. Here are some of my favorite excerpts/stories from the book.

Chapter 1: Why Me?

"It's July 10th, 2002, and it's official. I'm going to need some major surgery on my shoulder and elbow. I just can't deal with the pain anymore. I can't throw at all, it hurts to move it. I can't believe this is happening to me. Out of all the men who have played this great game, not one of them have been hurt as bad as me. Doctors say that I should be fine with some rehab, but why bother. No one knows what I'm going through right now. No one has been injured playing baseball before so they don't know what it's like."

Chapter 4: Killing Time

"Rehabbing sucked. Nothing can compare to the pain I was feeling. Vicodin wasn't working anymore. I started snorting Percoset's...that didn't work either. So I began to drink. The alcohol and pain pills meshed perfectly in my blood stream and left me in a constant euphoric state. After awhile, I started moving around more. It was hard being so doped up, but I did it. There was one day in particular that I will never forget...and neither will Girl Scout Troop 325. In my foggy haze, I drove right through the building in which they were convening, got out of my car, and screamed at a little girl, 'Give me some fucking Thin Mints, you dumb bitch.' The girls were in too much of a shock to react, so I whipped out my dinger and started urinating all over the troop leader and making siren noises."

Chapter 7: Down To One Nostril

"I've pretty much given up on the baseball career. I'm just too depressed to recover from that injury that many people have recovered from in the past. The doctor can tell that I'm totally abusing the painkillers, the court order from the Girl Scouts incident didn't help, so he won't write me anymore prescriptions. I am a desperate man though so I'm willing to go to the streets to get my fix. Through the grapevine I hear of a druglord named Diablo who is Tampa's big cocaine dealer. Diablo hooked it up for me and in no time, I'm snorting my weight in cocaine. All day long I'm sitting around the apartment watching Police Academy movies in sweatpants eating a strange combination of pickled figs and ramen noodles. I can't get off the couch. Ny skin hurts. I'm trying not to blink more than twice a minute because the government is trying to harvest my sperm. I spent weeks in my living room sitting in my own fecal matter. The one time I did leave the house, I bought an ostrich that currently is sleeping my bedroom because I'm too out of it to move. And I'll bet my life on it that while I was laughing at a hilarious Steve Gutenberg punchline, that damn ostrich, which I had named Penisface McGee, came over and snorted a line."

Chapter 11: Dumpsters, Alleys, and Gutters

"Almost all of my money is gone. I've lost my home. I haven't been able to afford cocaine in a while so I've moved on to crack. I need to find some rock. I was stumbling barefoot down the alleys of Tampa, dying for another fix. Earlier that day I used my shoes as firewood in one of those big barrels underneath a bridge. I was approached by a known pimp and dealer in the area, Big Tyrone. I begged and pleaded with him to give me one rock for free. He declined saying that 'bitches gotta earn their rocks!' I knew what I had to do and he knew what I was willing to do. I was desperate. While Big Tyrone was unzipping his parachute pants and uncoiling himself, I had a vision. Out of nowhere, a memory that had escaped me for the longest time had crept back into my consciousness. The thought of playing in a World Series one day had seeped into my mind for a split second but was soon pushed way back into the depths of my mind when Big Tyrone's 14 inch cock slammed into my tonsils. Would I grow to regret this? Maybe. But I knew what I had to do to survive."

Let me just tell you all that this is a riveting book. A How-To for anyone who wants to not piss away their life.

And as far as my attitude toward Josh Hamilton, I am happy that he has turned his life around, but I will not celebrate his achievements. He did that to himself.

***For the totally naive, this is complete satire. And don't forget to vote in the tournament, Frank Thomas is holding court but a HUUUUUGE upset is brewing with Da Meat Hook up big on one seed, Carlos Delgado.

Sunday, May 06, 2007

Friday, May 04, 2007

The 2007 Glenallen Hill Memorial Toughest Baseball Player Tournament of Champions

The 2007 Glenallen Hill Memorial Toughest Baseball PlayerTournament of Champions

Welcome to The 2007 Glenallen Hill Toughest Baseball Player Tournament of Champions. We've assembled a tremendous field this year with a few last minute replacements. Today, we've got the AL and NL's 1/8 matchups. I would post the entire bracket but I have no idea how to make one.

#1) Frank Thomas vs. #8) Milton Bradley


Frank Thomas has more than enough size standing at a massive 8'9" and 412 pounds.



But you can't count out crazy. Milton Bradley is liable to eat his own shit if it means advancing in this tournament.

Who wins, The Big Hurt or The Big Crazy
1. Frank Thomas
8. Milton Bradley
pollcode.com free polls


1) Carlos Delgado vs. #8)Dmitri Young



Delgado is just so damn menacing, a real intimidator. Rumor has it that while playing in Toronto, he was quite a popular killer of the homeless.



Da Meat Hook is one hell of a wife-beating deviant. I was trying to locate his mugshot, this is what you get. Who wins?




Who Wins, The Intimidator or Da Meat Hook?
1. Carlos Delgado
2. Dmitri Young
pollcode.com free polls


The polls are open, I'll do two of these a week until we crown our champion.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Welcome Home, Carl

In my Lou Brown Baseball Preview, I stated that Carl Pavano would make a career high 8 starts this season. Seems like that was a little on the high side. Douche Bag #1 is off the see his buddy, Dr. James Andrews, again over the tightness in his vagina/forearm.

"I don't think it ever gets easy," Pavano said, according to The Times. "I never dreamed it would be four weeks later and we're still concerned about it."

You may have never dreamed it, but everyone else on the planet is not surprised. You are the same guy that missed months due to a "buttocks" injury last season. Jesus, Carl, you obviously can pull a lot of celebrity ass and I applaud you for that, but man up and actually contribute to a team that is paying you a ton of money for virtually nothing. This man is so frustrating.

And yes, it was easy finding a picture of Carl doing the queerest pose ever. I'm sure if you googled "Gay Carl Pavano" this picture would pop up immediately.

The Glenallen Hill Memorial Toughest Baseball Player Tournament of Champions begins tomorrow. I'll figure out how to put polls up for it, should be interesting. Keep commenting if you think I missed anyone.

I am very excited about the decent traffic that's been hitting the blog recently. I put the statcounter on 4 weeks ago and it's over 1000 hits already. And I'm only responsible for about 700 of those. Thanks peeps, keep a-comin'!!!

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

I'm Gonna Need that Picture of Olmos's Ass Back


My allergies are back and my bedroom was about 112 degrees last night, so I'm going to speed through today. No, the title has nothing to do with the blog, it's just a hilarious line that deserved to be typed.

I'm following the Yankees game last night and see that our stud pitcher of the future, Phil Hughes, is throwing a no-no in the 7th against the Rangers (after the dominance of Hughes last night and Buehrle two weeks ago, every pitcher should be foaming at the mouth to face this lineup). I'm thinking "Wow, this could be pretty special. Our Ace of the Future throwing a no-hitter in his second career start!" But not for this team, not this year. This team appears to be cursed with bad luck and terrible pitching. Ugh. I feel like Peter Griffin. You know, when the Grim Reaper showed him the picture of Edward James Olmos's ass but then took it back right away. I got a small taste of Hughes' excellent pitchingmanship and now it's gone. I can't believe I fit that analogy in. That is some quality blogging.

The NBA Playoffs have been pretty ho-hum (whatever that means) so far. Last year was tremendous, this year it's Sweep City and Uninteresting Team Village. Except for one series...Dallas and Golden State. Every single game in this series has been a 1980's style slugfest like when Magic's Lakers and The Wispy Mustache's Celtics were playing 120-118 games. These games are so engaging. I am still kicking myself for going to bed after the 3rd quarter of game 4. I am pro-Warrior in this matchup. I can't wait for game 6 tomorrow night. Shootin' at the walls of heartache, BANG BANG, I am the Warrior...had to squeeze that in there.

That's it today, don't forget to comment about anyone I may have forgotten about for the badass tournament that starts Friday.