Monday, December 03, 2007

The Worst of Week 13

It's been a rough week for my favorite teams. The Redskins have blown 2 games, Sean Taylor passed away, the Redhawks were blown out in the MAC Championship game, the Redhawks lost two heartbreakers to Dayton and Louisville in hoops, LeBron James is hurt and the Cavs have lost three straight, everything fell into place for the Buckeyes, and Hank Steinbrenner continues to be insane. Like I said, not good. So obviously I can spot a shitty performance when I see it. Here are the worst ten of week 13, note the lack of Herm Edwards even though he looked even dumber than usual with that stocking cap on yesterday. Enjoy...

10. Jay Cutler - You can't turn the ball over three times yourself, even against the Raiders, and expect to win on the road. The Broncos baffle me. One week they look like world beaters, the next, they get crushed by Justin Fargas and Jerry Porter. On a side note, it was good to see JaMarcus Russell get some action and perform pretty well. He's going to be good...I think.

9. John Beck - This was supposed to be the week for the Dolphins to win. Vegas thought so anyway. 5 turnovers will almost ensure that perfect season for the Phins. I think it is the right move to see if Beck can play, because Cleo Lemon can't, and there are going to be growing pains. But deep down I am begging that Miami gets to 0-15 yet beats the Bengals in the last game of the season.

8. Jack Del Rio - Let me preface this, the Jaguars played well yesterday. Losing by only 3 to a rested Colts team is not bad. But I'm tired of everyone telling me that the Jags are for real when year in and year out, they lose every big game they play in. It never fails. Win a big one and then maybe I'll begin to believe that the Jags are viable contenders.

7. Brett Favre - Welcome back to Earth, Mr. Wrangler. When your play is so awful that Aaron Rodgers comes in and is an immediate upgrade, you know you sucked. But since the game was on the mythological NFL Network and no one saw it, I will assume that the media will act like this game never happened and the Favre knob-slobbing will continue. 0-9 at Texas Stadium in your career, eh? Even Jay Fiedler has won in Dallas. What does this mean? Yep, Jay Fiedler is better than Brett Favre.

6. Every Detroit Lion - Awful, just awful. Only one team, my team, can rival the collapse of the Lions. It makes you wonder what they actually have as a defensive game plan. Stop Peterson and Taylor from gashing you on the ground? Clearly not. Shut down the "efficient" Tarvaris Jackson? Nope, not that either. Or on offense, why not try, I don't know, running the ball??? The Lions suck. Methinks that the Vikings get into the playoffs. I just have a feeling. The same feeling that predicted the Redskins to win the East and the Saints to win the South though.

5. Sean Payton (The Herm Edwards Memorial Spot) - Let's set the scene for you: You're up 3 with 3:30 minutes to go. You have the ball. It's time to grind out the clock and get a much needed win against the team you trail in the division. What do we do??? RUN A REVERSE! Just awful play calling. Eli Manning completing consecutive passes has a better chance at success than that. And Eli has no chance to complete 2 in a row. It's a totally different ball game when you don't catch every break, isn't it Coach? (Note to self, this is exactly what will happen to the Browns next year).

4. Carson Palmer - OK, what's going on with his hair. When he has his helmet on, his hair covers most of his neck. Is he the front man of a Loverboy tribute band now? Oh yeah, he is not a good QB either. I haven't seen that many receivers overthrown since...well...Miami QB Daniel Raudabaugh during the MAC championshop game (sponsored by Marathon!) on Saturday. Carson is not an elite QB. I can't say that enough. He just isn't very good. Neither is his coach.

3. AJ Feeley - As the great Dennis Green says, "they are who we thought they were". We always knew that Feeley sucked cat vagina, and yesterday he proved that last week was an aberration. Man, that was bad. I can understand if you're getting picked off trying to go deep. But when you throw three of your four picks to the same linebacker, that is just abysmal. Do you think Eagles fans want McNabb back now or are they just throwing batteries at mall Santas?

2. Jerome Boger - Who, you ask? He's a referee. I've never seen him before and judging by his performance yesterday, I will never see him again. I don't want to hear any shit about Kellen Winslow being in-bounds yesterday. No he wasn't. You can't say that he would have. That's like saying that if I had any ambition, I would be a millionaire. Shut the fuck up. It was the two reviews that Boger butchered yesterday that has my scrotum twisted this morning. How about that interception he allowed at the end of the first half that hit the ground when the Cards were driving for a possible FG? Or the touchdown he allowed to Braylon even though the safety did everything but hit him in the face with a frying pan to get him on the ground? If you don't think the Browns are catching a ton of breaks, you don't know football. And as a fan of a team that has blown 6 second half leads this year, it makes me want to move to Gary, Indiana.

1. Joe Gibbs - Ah, Joe. It's been a tough week for all of us Redskins fans. But when it comes down to it, the football field is a sanctuary where the outside world doesn't effect you...even if it is for only 3+ hours. That being said, HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW THE FUCKING RULES. You've coached in this league for over 15 years!!! Would Rian Lindell have made a 51 yarder? Maybe, but there was no doubt that he was going to make a 36 yarder. Fuck you, Joe, you are the worst coach in the league. There I said it. Your legacy is gone to me. Not only are you terrible, you completely pissed on the legacy of Sean Taylor. Pissed on it. You ruined what could have been a healing day for everyone in that stadium by being out-maneuvered by Dick Jauron. As faithful reader and Lions honk, Drew, pointed out to me last night, "Only Marty Morningwood electing to kick first in overtime was a worse decision than that." He deserves to be fired. The problem is, Joe Gibbs is untouchable in DC. Shit. At least he only has one more year on that contract.

There you go. 10+ people that didn't deserve to wear #21. Fuck you, Joe Gibbs. What makes matters worse is that had they won, they would be the 6 seed right now. I need to calm down. Think of something positive...Dave Wannstedt's insanely animated antics from Saturday night...much better.


Anonymous said...

Is there a worse color man than Dan Dierdorf? How was that guy on MNF for so long? He is a fucking moron. Solomon Wilcots might be close, but Dierdorf has got him beat I think. You're right the Browns are catching a lot of breaks, but since they have caught like two breaks in the history of the franchise, its overdue.


GMoney said...

I actually like Dierdorf...he talks like Lou Holtz. As for the Browns and the breaks, I'm not saying it's a bad thing. But when you root for one of the worst closing teams in the history of the league, it can be frustrating.

If coffee is for closers, the Skins have been driking urine that has sat out in the sun for about 3 days.

twins15 said...

Yeah, Lions definitely deserve to be on this list, maybe even higher than 6... they were atrocious. Not that I mind (as a Vikings fan)... but yikes, what an awful performance from them.