Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Having Fun With StatCounter

I've been putting my brain through a Torture Rack over the past 24 hours trying to come up with a good Middle Finger topic...and I've still got nothing. The best I could do was how I hate Christmas music. No one wants to hear about that. Hell, I don't even want to type that. So instead, we're going in a different direction today. There will be no Middle Finger today, I guess you could say that I'm filled with too much holiday cheer. Or that I'm still drunk from breakfast. Either way, let's get going.

You all see that little red box underneath the links and recent posts on the right hand side. Well, that little beauty tells me everything. How many people come here a day, where they are from, what they searched to find me...it's great. It's like my own personal internet GPS. Yes, Rune, I know where you are stationed and where you log in from the pacific rim...it's excellent. The "recent keyword searches" feature is absolutely hilarious and today, I share the best with you. The following is a list of phrases that, when googled, lead people here to The Money Shot.

"gay native americans fucking" - a real head scratcher seeing as I don't believe this has ever been a topic addressed and I can't imagine anyone wanting to see a site dedicated to this act

"jamal lewis naked" - I'm thinking that this search was conducted from a federal prison...you'd be surprised how often this phrase pops up though

"snorting percoset" - It's good to know that some kid out there is trying to uncover the correct way to do this but I don't think I can be of any assistance

"police federales" - a Federales reference!!! What a fag.

"80s hair metal wife beaters" - ah yes, a classic topic...it begins and ends with Tawny Kitaen kicking the shit out of former pitcher, Chuck Finley

"balls hanging out, teen wolf" - you idiot, everyone knows that the guy in the stands at the end of Teen Wolf had has dick hanging out of his pants and not his nuts

"it hurts when i finger myself" - I don't know what to tell you, kid, keep practicing

"i'm 13 and i finger myself" - I'm not going to touch this one but I am happy that teenagers are seeking out my advice on masturbation

"fuck steve phillips" and "steve phillips is an idiot" - You have no idea how often these phrases show up...almost daily.

and finally...

"richard karn nude pictures" - I shit you not. There is some deviant fuck out there seeking scrotal shots of Al Borland. You know what, it was probably Richard Karn conducting his own search to see if his dangle was on the internets. This search result was the reason behind this blog topic today.

Good times, good times.

Just a quick one before I head out for the day...in my weekly column for our sister site, Mid America Nattering, I unveiled my all-MAC basketball team selections from 1990-current. Give it a look...there are some real ballers on this list. You know you want to read about Devin Davis!!!

Adios kids, and remember, start with two fingers and work your way up to a fist...dear God, what an exit!!!


Upstate Underdog said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Upstate Underdog said...

"start with two fingers and work your way up to a fist"

I wish my wife would buy into this.

Anonymous said...

I checked your MAC All 90's team...Come to your senses Bachman...there is absolutely no reason that Bonzi Wells should not be a starter on that team. Not only does he hold the MAC all-time scoring record but he also destroyed the MAC all-time steals record. It's ridiculous that he isn't a starter...he's a starter on the All-Time team.

Anonymous said...

The MAC post was left by me--Drew

GMoney said...

Drew, you forget a few things...Wally and Gary Trent actually led their teams to March successes so he wouldn't start at forward.

There is no way in hell that he would be on the all-time team ahead of Ron Harper and Thunder Dan Majerle.