Tuesday, October 09, 2007

The Middle Finger: Myself

I know what you want me to say. I know what you want to hear. But it's my fucking blog and you're not going to hear it. You could corner me with The Van Buren Boys and I still wouldn't give you the pleasure. It's not coming out of my mouth...or in this case, my fingers. This Black Tuesday sucks. But I should feel a lot worse.

And that's why I give this week's Middle Finger to...myself???

As I watched Joe Borowski suck his way to another save last night, I couldn't help but realize that watching the Yankees get beat out by inferior youngsters year after year has gotten easier to swallow. And that sucks. What the hell happened? When did things change? I can't be the only Yankees fan that has noticed this.

But something has changed. Time to switch into "old man reminisces about the past" mode. The glory days of the late 90's are long gone. I understand that. Those teams struck fear into every team the played against and it showed in the results. But now it sucks. There are no clutch hits. Whatever breaks are available in the game are almost always snagged up by the other team. The starting pitching staff should just wear Frank Gorshin's old Riddler suit instead of Pinstripes since you have no idea what you're getting from them. They make a point to force the pitch counts on the opponent's starter but fail to realize that by doing this, many times they are giving up a pitch to drive. The let incredibly shitty pitchers (see Kenny Rogers, Paul Byrd, Bronson Arroyo, etc) get off the hook by having terrible at bats due to this practice.

It's so fucking predictable. I like to put on the "good fan" face and talk about World Series titles and sweeps and this is our year and blah blah blah. I don't really feel that way. I know they're going to fuck it up. I know it's coming right back in my face. But I pray to St. Brosius that it will change. And it never does. Instead of clutch home runs, Derek Jeter is now rolling into countless weak-ass double plays to end innings. Mariano became hittable. The sticks are ice fucking cold. Scott Brosius should have never been granted sainthood.

Ugh. OK, this is good. Now that I type this out I'm starting to feel a little depressed. And that's a good thing. Normal people feel shitty when their team's season ends.

Let me talk about a few things really quick. The worst player on the field in this series was Jorge Posada (not debatable). The second worst was Paul Byrd, who looks like a guy that eats his own boogers. Letting Byrd off the hook inning after inning was an embarrassment. He doesn't even belong in baseball. He sucks. Wang was fantastic. 1 inning!!! Good God. I made my concession phone call to the only person that has earned that right, in the 7th inning when Farnsworth was brought in (Although I told you guys last week, when someone's team is knocked out of the postseason, it's a total fag-bitch move to call and brag that same night. Have some class). I was that sure that they had quit. Jason Giambi needs to go away. Home plate umpire Fielding Culbreth (nice name) was horrid last night. Jhonny Peralta had good numbers in this series but wasn't even close to hitting a ball hard...which is REALLY frustrating. The 2 out RISP success that the Tribe had is such a flukey stat. It sucks when it happens against your boys, but I wouldn't get too excited about it because that isn't something that you can keep up for a long period of time.

There are going to be a lot of changes coming in the next few months which will be a topic for a later day. I'm looking forward to them. Who will manage the team? Is Alex coming back? What about Posada, Abreu, and Mariano? Should be interesting.

But back to me. I'm going to catch a lot of shit the next week or so and it's well deserved. But at the same time, deep down I knew this day was coming. This isn't your dad's Yankees team (whatever that means). This isn't my teenage Yankees team. And that right there is the reason why baseball is not nearly as important to me as it once was. The game itself is a complete mind-fuck bore if your team isn't winning titles/gets beat out by kids every October. It's almost unwatchable.

So I implore all you Indians fans to get all the vile and feces and Sizemore semen off of your chests and spew it out in the comments for me. But the fact is, I'm not going to lose any sleep over this. I'm tired of having my heart broken every Fall. I'm tired of watching 4+ hour games that end with losses. I'm tired of watching our starting pitchers get knocked out before the first Frank TV commercial. I'm tired of watching Eric Wedge (he's an idiot by the way) and Joe Torre have a contest of who can be most like a statue.

I'm tired. I'm ready to fully embrace football now. Something can be said that after the bottom of the 9th, I rolled my eyes. But when the Bills executed one of the worst choke jobs in the history of football, I was screaming at the TV like a homicidal maniac. I guess maybe my priorities are a bit out of whack. Baseball is done for me, and for most of the country, and in a few days I'll be glad. After all, I will be heading to Oxford for the big BGSU/Miami MAC showdown on Saturday and the Redskins play Favre this Sunday and the Cavs season is right around the corner...YAY!!!

Recently, my own retardedness has thought that losing early is a lot easier to swallow than losing late. And that's a pathetic way to think about things. That's a pathetic way to think about a team that, while they've fucked up a ton over the past 7 years, they're still your team and you should support them. I suck as a fan right now. I'm part of the problem, not the solution. And for that reason...

This week's Middle Finger goes to myself.

***I apologize if this doesn't flow as well as I wanted it. There are a lot of thoughts and opinions floating around the melon right now and since I don't write anything down, they come out when they pop in my head.


J Beanie said...

Awe, the words of a Yankees have never sounded so good. Sure they were incoherent ramblings that made no sense in an effort to rip on the team that just spanked your own team, but my goodness they sounded great. Words of a losing Yankee fan are some of the best words in the world. I love how you say you saw this coming and what not yet last week you all be said the Yankees would win the World Series. Yankee fans are so stupidly dumb. I’m glad you’re looking forward to stories about who will even be on the team next year. I’m looking forward to stories about actual games. And if you think Paul Byrd sucks, what does that say about the Yankees. Keep those excuses coming because they make me laugh harder and harder every time I hear a new one.

GMoney said...

You have no class. You are pathetic. I did not make excuses. If a team can't beat Paul Byrd, they don't deserve to win.

1948. Please stop being a gigantic douchebag. When it comes down to it, did either of us have anything to do with the outcome? No. So why the need to be an arrogant asshole?

GMoney said...

I just re-read it. I don't think it's that bad. I'm tough on my team and myself. I didn't give the Indians any credit, which was my goal, and I didn't give any "what ifs". All in all, I'm pleased with today's entry.

Anonymous said...

Joe Torre is Eric Wedge's bitch. What a great job he did. Playing Shoppach and Nixon. What a genius!


Anonymous said...

In the the words of John Sterling: "Yankees lose, Theeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Yankees lose!" or "There's a Shit-bomb from A-Rod!" Is that how it goes? Tell me if I am wrong.


GMoney said...

Ummm yes, you are wrong. John Sterling has never said that.

In the words of Tom Hamilton, "Grady, your penis is so small that I can even fit your balls in my mouth."

Anonymous said...

I am glad to see you are changing your focus to football. The only fun thing about baseball is the playoffs and seeing a team like the Rockies in it, who no one expected to make it. Anyone who is a fan of football (especially college) has to have a hard-on for what the season has brought.


Kyle said...

I'm not going to lie -- October wouldn't feel the same without the Yankees. I am never going to root against them making the Playoffs because their presence always makes things more interesting.

Ray said...

The two-out hits were no fluke, my friend. That's what happens when you have you get hot (see: Indians through the end of the season) and the opposing pitchers eat rim (see: Yankees).

Best of luck buying overaged, overpriced, overrated players this offseason! You're always the best at that.