Tuesday, October 30, 2007

The Middle Finger: Alex Rodriguez


To be honest, I didn't think this was going to happen. All the goodwill that was built up this past season, I didn't expect this. Maybe I was naive. Maybe I built up too much faith in a turncoat. Maybe I bought in to all the hype that he wanted to be in New York. Maybe I just liked the way he played guitar. Maybe it's true that in today's modern age of sports, you should just root for the jersey and not the players. Either way, I'm pissed.

And that's why this week's Middle Finger is getting shoved straight into the greedy, purple lips of Alex Rodriguez.

Alex Rodriguez is a coward. Looking back, it is hilarious that Alex kept saying that he wanted to be a Yankee forever. Clearly, that was not the case at all otherwise these shenanigans would not have happened. Alex had the opportunity to be the biggest star on the biggest stage in the world and he shied away because he couldn't handle the pressure. A total bitch move. Instead of being an icon and building his resume as the best baseball player of all time, he will forever be tainted by being too afraid to play in New York. You are in an exclusive club now, Alex. Go ahead and have a seat next to Denny Neagle and Kenny Rogers, Steve Sax is ready for his keynote speech.

Alex Rodriguez is selfish. No shit. That is the understatement of the century. Turning down 28 million per year for the next 5 is something that average Joe Lunchpail surely understands. Alex has always put his own interests and numbers ahead of the team and now is no different. Whoever is unfortunate enough to sign Alex next will understand just how bad of a person he is. He is the definition of a prima donna. There is no other player in baseball that would rather go 4-4 with 2 HR's and have his team lose as opposed to going 0-4 with a win, then Alex.

Alex Rodriguez is a liar. All summer long when asked about his contract situation, he never wavered from saying that he wanted to be a Yankee. Obviously, he did not. Otherwise, you would not be upstaging the World Series and upsetting Peter Gammons with this garbage. This is the worst part of all this, the lies. For four years, almost everything he said has now been confirmed to be untrue. He played us all for suckers. He played all the Yankee faithful for saps. You can't trust Alex Rodriguez. Whether it be a clutch at bat in the playoffs or cheating on his wife with she-males, Alex can not be trusted.

I blogged about this before the season but I want to mention it again. This past season, I made a conscious effort to support Alex as a fan no matter what happened and no matter what criticism he was getting from the public (I also vowed to stand up for Carl Pavano). And I did. I never said one bad thing about the man for 6 months and look at the results. We made a great team. He was raking everything and I was talking a lot of smack. I was the yin to his yang. We complimented each other so much that we moved in together. It seemed like a logical move at the time. But on Sunday night, everything changed. I decided to come home a little early and surprise Alex. But when I walked in the house, there he was, blowing Larry Bird Mailman (most of you won't get this, but just picture Alex blowing a mailman that looks like Larry Bird). When I asked him what the fuck was going on, he said, "Look, I know you've been there for me through the good and the bad, but this mailman's balls just taste better." So I left. For good. Burning the house down on the way out. I'm done with Alex. I'm off the bandwagon. Good riddance.

But shit, now I need a new roommate. What is Wilson Betemit's phone number?

Alex, you've earned it. You are Benedict Arnold in cleats. Enjoy this week's Middle Finger.

5 comments:

saul hudson said...

Money cannot buy love, cannot buy happiness, and cannot buy loyalty...funny, a yankee fan can't figure that one out.

Anonymous said...

Typical Yankme fan.........

Anonymous said...

It wasn't about the money. I know it is hard for a Yankee fan to believe that a player would not want to play for the Yankees. Not everyone wants to be a Yankee, accept it. If A-Rod isn't happy in New York, why should he stay? He should do whatever makes him happy.

-Damman

GMoney said...

Because he said over and over again that he WAS happy!!! And don't you sit there and try to tell me that money has nothing to do with this. That's fucking retarded.

Anonymous said...

What was he gonna say? "I hate it here and I'm gone after the season?" I am sure if he said that during the season it would have went over really well with the media and in the clubhouse. Every player says, "I love it here and I want to end my career here." They never do. Even in New York. About the whole money thing, call me retarted if you want, but couldn't the Yankees pay him more or match any other offer by any other team?

-Damman