Wednesday, October 31, 2007

The Hump Day Hump

Every Wednesday, we here at The Money Shot run down some stories that aren't "full topic worthy" in a bullet-pointed fashion. The results are delightful.

This week, it's the "It's Halloween, where are the slutty nurses" edition.

***Tony Romo is rich, still a dork - Your favorite backwards hat-wearing nerd just signed a big ass contract extension with the Mexico Cowboys. Outstanding. At least 6 more years of hating this hayseed motherfucker. But I ask you this, Cowboys fans, do you really feel confident having the face of your franchise hanging out with Britney Spears in LA over his bye week? I know I wouldn't. Seriously, Britney Spears? Romo makes Mike Piazza look like John Wayne.

***A new member of the Todd Marinovich All-Stars - Former USC WR, Mike Williams, is officially unemployed and is wearing a "Hello, my name is BUST" nametag. I have to admit, I did not see this coming. Even after sitting out a year, I still thought that Mike would dominate the league. But I should've known better. After all, he did take advice from Maurice Clarett. Let this be a lesson to all the kiddies out there...never follow in the footsteps of Mo Clarett.

***Grady Little: Still A Genius - Amidst widespread reports that Grady Little was going to be fired by the Dodgers and replaced by Uncle Joe Torre, Little abruptly quit yesterday. He cited that it was due to personal reasons. Yeah, OK. That's some interesting timing for personal reasons. We believe you. We also believe in unicorns, George W. Bush, Greg Oden's birth certificate, and Michael Vick.

***The Cavs take the court tonight - The good news: Sasha Pavlovic is back!!! Danny Ferry is back from his 4 month vacation!!! They didn't sign Juwan Howard. The bad news: The Mavs come to C-Town tonight. Varejao is still holding out. Mike Brown is still running/ruining the offense. Bill Simmons has predicted the Cavs to miss the playoffs. I just don't see that happening. The King won't allow it. Larry Hughes won't allow it. And by "it" for Hughes, I mean, "his jump shot going through the basket".

***If you're good at cheating, Indiana wants you - Indiana has fired assistant basketball coach, Rob Senderoff, for text message recruiting violations. I've said it before and I'll say it again, Kelvin Sampson is the dirtiest player in the game...way dirtier than Ric Flair but with a lot less chest slaps. Unfortunately, Senderoff was the fall guy for Sampson. Looking into my crystal ball, I see the NCAA giving Sampson a lifetime ban within the next 5 years. Wherever he goes, the shit gets crazy and fast. IU has a chance to do some serious damage this year, but not with this shitbag running the show.

***Who watches this shit? - Last night was one of the worst nights of TV ever. I'm flipping through the guide and saw that The Contender was on ESPN. Who the hell watches that still? Boxing is dead. But this is something like the 5th season for this show. So I ask you, the homoerotic reader, do you know anyone that watches this? Also, does anyone watch Bones? I've asked that question to at least a million people over the past 3 years and no one had an answer.

***The death of a legend - Sad news that mustachioed sensation, Robert Goulet, passed away. Damn shame. The man was phenomenal as the bad guy in Naked Gun 2 1/2 and one hell of an Emerald Nuts spokesman. I leave you with a youtube clip of Goulet promoting some college hoops a few years back. I loved these commercials. You better wait till the half to hit the john my friend, a Grande Monday's here again!!!

One more thing, my first contribution to Mid America Nattering was posted yesterday. Check it out.


J Beanie said...

Robert Goulet passing is really sad. I couldn't tell you one thing he sings but I loved seeing him in TV shows and commericals. He was already to make fun of himself.

As for The Contender, I watced the first season, loved it, Second season, watched here and there and still found it entertaining. Third season was awful when the put contestants from the first two seasons against fighters from England. And this season, I tried watching it, then realized how stupid it is and that I really don't care about morons who think they can really make it boxing. Get a real job.

I'm great at cheating. Maybe I should apply to IU.

GO CAVS!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

You forgot to mention Robert Goulet's finest moment: ring announcer for the Cory vs. Vader wrestling match on Boy Meets World.


GMoney said...

I should have remembered that. Damn me. I'm sure Eric was hilarious in that episode, too.

Matt said...

Man, are the Mavs pissed about getting chumped last year or are the Cavs just that bad?

stonybrown said...

The woman on Bones is hot. But, I've never watched the show. I was tempted after seeing the commercials with her in the Wonder Woman costume.