Wednesday, October 17, 2007

The Hump Day Hump

Every Wednesday, we here at The Money Shot run down some stories that aren't "full topic worthy" in a bullet-pointed fashion. The results are delightful.

This week, the "Celebrating For No Reason" edition...

***Manny Being Manny...which is synonymous with stupidity - The beauty of having a 3 TV set up in the living room is that you can watch games that you don't give a shit about. Like the ALCS. As I'm watching the Red Sox struggle against the booger-eating, abortion survivor known as Paul Byrd last night, something puzzled me. After the Massholes went back-to-back-to-back, Manny celebrated his home run the only way he knew how...by walking half way down to first with his arms raised in the air. Did he not know that they were still down 7-3??? I found it hilarious and ridiculous at the same time. And what about those "unwritten baseball rules"? Why did Manny not catch one in the ribs his next time up? We are always told not to show up the pitcher, but apparently Man-Ram gets a free pass. I don't get it.

***Would Jim Rome call him Chris? - Great news coming out of Buffalo with word that Tyler Everett is walking (with assistance). That's awesome. Now that he's back on his feet a bit, he immediately becomes one of the best players on the Bills...sorry Dewitt and Hastings, it's true.

***Just stop, NBA talking-heads - Guess what? The NBA season starts soon. Yeah, I didn't realize that either. I ask for only one thing. PLEASE STOP TALKING ABOUT KOBE GETTING TRADED. It isn't going to happen. He's going to be a Laker for the rest of his career. I know it, you know it. Just stop. It is so fucking stupid to speculate the possibilities of where he could end up. I'm talking to you, Ric "Soul Patch" Bucher.

***I'll trade you a Pro-Bowl WR for a bag of magic beans - A couple of trades transpired in the NFL yesterday. For some unknown reason, the Dolphins traded their best WR to San Diego for a dry handjob. The 'phins have to be on the short list for worst run franchises in sports. Terrible. Great trade for the Bolts though but it will likely have a negative impact toward my fantasy team that is actually good. In other news, former Wisconsin great/shitty NFL'er, Michael Bennett, was unloaded to the injury ravaged Bucs. This is meaningless. Bennett has sucked ever since coming into the game. The real question is, approaching the trade deadline, will the Redskins go after an offensive lineman? Since Chris Samuels is pretty much standing alone, I would hope so.

***"Oh, thank God, Phil thought it might be semen" - I'm sure you've heard about this already but if not, here you go. An assistant football coach at Baylor was arrested this weekend for drunkenly pissing on the bar. Classic. I haven't seen awesome bar behavior like this since former Napoleon great, Chris Thompson, would throw up in his hands and then swallow it back down to avoid getting kicked out. There is no word yet on what the Baylor brass will do to the coach. Patrick Denehy could not be reached for comment. And how could he, he's dead.

***Eventually the Death Penalty is coming - Indiana basketball coach, Kelvin Sampson, is a complete fucking moron. Coming on the heels of last week's "recruit busted dealing coke", comes this week's heat for recruiting violations. Sampson is a terrible person. It's plain and simple. He doesn't learn. He will continue to take shortcuts. And as I said earlier, at some point he's going to be responsible for fucking up an entire school. Cut the cord, IU, you don't need this.

***Sandusky is chock full o' gangs - The boys over at With Leather stumbled onto this gem on Monday. Sandusky High School has banned body painting at athletic contests due to potential gang violence. HAHAHAHAHA!!! That is hilarious. Are you kidding me? Does the rough and tumble gang "The Cedar Point summer staff" start doing drive-bys when skin is painted. If so, then that's just wrong! Come on, these are kids supporting their high school. Give me a fucking break. I'm pretty sure there isn't a big Crips contingent on Lake Erie that frequents high school football games. But what do I know, I'm just a sexy blogger. SHS is likely just pissed because the greatness which is the Napoleon Fightin' John Snoad's (7-1) took them behind the woodshed a few weeks back. OOOOOOOOOOOOH N-A-P-O-L-E-O-N, Napoleon, Napoleon, Napoleon!!!

I love me some high school football talk. See you tomorrow.

2 comments:

stonybrown said...

Please add Derek Kidwell to your Middle Finger list for next week. He just plain sucks and Napoleon takes down Fremont Ross this Friday night.

Kyle said...

Phin fans I know are justifying the Chambers trade. Hoo-boy. It would take some monumentally bad coaching for Norv to screw up the Chargers at this juncture.