Every Wednesday, we here at The Money Shot run down some stories that aren't "full topic worthy" in a bullet-pointed fashion. The results are delightful.
This week is the "LeBron James, bitch" edition of The Hump.
***It costs 11.6 mill to call a woman a bitch - I'm going to have to remember that actually. Congratulations Isiah Thomas, for once again proving that you are one of the worst employees a company could ever have. Even worse than me. Zeke sucks. Although I do think that the surprise of the upcoming NBA season will be Isiah's Knicks winning the Atlantic(?) division over the Celts, Raptors, and Nets.
***The Braves do not tolerate mediocrity - There's a reason why John Scheurholtz is considered the best GM in the business. Shelling out 15+ mill a season to a guy who hit .222 is not an option. I've always thought that Andruw Jones was wildly overrated and it appears that the Braves agree with me. Good for them, they don't need him. Let him sign with the Orioles or some other dumbass organization. Let's just hope that they bring back Otis Nixon to replace him.
***Can he bring his shiv with him? - That crazy ass backup punter who stabbed the starter in the leg got 7 years in prison yesterday. Uh oh. I love me some punting, but I do not condone punter on punter violence. This guy deserves all the anal sex he can handle and then some. You don't try to take out a punter. Kent McCullough is going to find this fuck and give him the lethal "Big Boot".
***PETA is hypocritical, gay - The wierdos at PETA are apparently happy that Michael Vick has taken a class about animal cruelty. Really? All people need to do to appease PETA and their buckets of blood is to sit in a room for 8 hours listening to a moron? That doesn't add up for me. In college, I took a geology class but I still don't give a shit about rocks and can't tell the difference between mud and clay. But are geologists happy with my effort? Doubtful, well maybe Randy Marsh is. Vick is still a menace to society whether he went to PETA University or not.
***Just what we need, 4+ hour games - Let me say one thing, BASEBALL DOES NOT NEED INSTANT REPLAY. The human element is great for the game. You win some, you lose some. People make mistakes. Let the umpires do their job. I guarantee you this, if for some reason replay is instituted in baseball, the umpires union will be on strike the next day. Baseball is fine the way it is. If a few calls are missed, so be it. Besides myself, everybody makes mistakes.
***Indians fans are idiots - For some reason, LeBron James was asked who he was rooting for in the ALDS and since he's always been a Yankees fan, he said the Yankees. Apparently, Clevelanders are incredibly upset about this. Why? Who cares who he roots for? Why should it matter that when he was a kid, the Indians sucked and the Yankees were good (may not be true but I'm not going to look it up) so he cheered for them? Get over it. There are plenty of Yankees fans in NE Ohio, not just LeBron. The outcome of the series isn't going to be decided on LeBron's hat choice. Give him a break you idiots. Hasn't he been a Godsend for the area anyway??? Speaking of Bron, I haven't seen his SNL yet...can anyone give a review of his performance for me in the comments?
***She didn't want them anyway - By now we've all heard that mother of the year candidate, Britney Spears, has lost custody of her two boys to man about town, K-Fed. Priceless. At least now she can remain focused on snorting everything she can and contracting every type of hepatitis. Good God. Can you imagine if she had married Chris Benoit? Worst family ever.
That's it for today, boys and girls. I'll be back tomorrow to predict the playoffs (since they don't really begin until Thursday anyway).