Friday, July 20, 2007

Simmons Strikes Back

In what has to be the most pathetic and hopeless feud of all time, it appears that both parties have entrenched themselves in for the long haul. What's that you're saying, "What are you talking about?"

I'm talking about none other than the war of who should be President of Red Sox Nation that has turned into a verbal slapfight. Personally, I would rather be the president of NAMBLA than Red Sox Nation of Necrophiliacs, but this has just been too funny not to discuss.

It started earlier this week when ESPN columnist, Red Sox honk, and linked in my blog roll, Bill Simmons, submitted an entry to become President of the "Nation". Simmons submitted his ten reasons why he should be picked and took a dig at NESN color commentator, chain smoker, and awful announcer, Jerry Remy. Well, during a game this week, Remy addressed the letter and promptly through his application away. Here's convo between NESN teammates Remy and Something Orsillo (courtesy of AA):

Remy: And here’s the one that that bugs me. I’m not going to mention what he says about me, but he says … in other words, if he’s elected, you would never have to worry about his health. He would be able to serve out his tenure. In other words, he’s saying that physically …
Orsillo: You’re day-to-day and could die anytime?
Remy: Well who couldn’t. Everybody’s day-to-day. That really ticked me off when I read that. He’s got a lot of foolish stuff on here that just makes no sense, so Bill Simmons, the sports guy, see this...Buh-bye

You see how petty a Red Sox fan is??? Well, Simmons fired back last night in his podcast before his incredible interview with Michael Wilbon (I listen to the podcast every week, and with the exception of the Adam Corolla interview, Wilbon's was the best by far). I don't have direct quotes but he called Remy out as being a shitty player and made light of his chain-smoking habit. He also wrapped it up by saying that he was thinking about bowing out of the race for President, but not anymore and that he's going after Remy...whatever that means.

Why am I, a known Yankee fan, interested in this??? Isn't it obvious? This is the beginning of the end of Red Sox Nation. Remy and Simmons are two of the most beloved Red Sox figureheads seeing as they are the only Sox fans that are currently employed.

So I can see it now, Sox fans lining up behind Remy and Simmons and settling it all in a grotesque 300-style battle where there are no survivors. Red Sox Nation will completely implode for no reason but two guys having soft skin and fragile egos (I still love Simmons though).

And the rest of us will be declared the winners.


rstiles said...

Red Sox Nation should be more worried about the Yankees catching them than some douche bags arguing about being the President of Red Douche Nation

McBain said...

GMoney, I couldn't find an email address here so I'm asking in the comments. We're trying to round up some guest bloggers at Flyers Fieldhouse to do as many preseason previews of their respective teams as possible. Seeing as you're our favorite Miami-leaning blogger, we'd love for you to write something up. Email us at and let us know if you're interested.

Keep up the great work.