Friday, March 09, 2007

Sports Bonin'

A couple of good sports/sex stories out there right now. Let's break them down.

1. LSU women's hoops coach Pokey Chatman resigns due to reports of sexual relationship with former player

--This is awesome. This is everything that I was hoping women's sports was about. Two girls getting nasty in the shower. Pokey's a good looking woman too which makes the visions of her munching rug even better...not the typical (redacted) militant dyke at all. I'm just hoping to God she wasn't doing the girl in the picture on the left that looks like Beetlejuice from Howard Stern or the one in the middle that looks like Dwyane Wade. This is exactly what men need to pay attention to women's hoops, more lesbos. This blog's rule about women's hoops is: "If the most exciting play in your sport is a lay-up, there better be a good supply of attractive box-chowers." Can you imagine hearing this during the Final Four:

Jim Nantz: Oh, Susie Jones just looks tired out there.

Billy Packer: Can you blame her? Coach Chatman won't let her take that butt plug out until after the game!!!

Bill Raftery: ONIONS!!!

I would totally watch that.

2. Tom Brady: King of the Bastards

--Tom Brady is back at it again. And by "back at it", I mean he's knocking up another chick. This time, Gisele. Rumor has it that Brady now has two out-of-wedlock kids on the way. Way to go, Tommy!!! Look, we get it. You can nail whatever you want, whenever you want. But I would think that after the first time with R-list actress, Bridget Moynahan, you would start bagging it up again. Not Tom. He's invincible. Especially with Gisele. She's been with DiCaprio and probably a host of others. Take care of yourself, Tommy, now you're going to have to pay child support all over the globe.

I was going to type more, but the boss just said I could go home early, so fuck this, I am out!!!


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