Monday, March 05, 2007

Name Something You Take To The Beach...

There is no question in the eyes of this blog that Family Feud is the greatest game show of all time. The Price is Right and Jeopardy can suck Family Feud's cock. Good pacing of the show with a great dynamic between the insane families and wacky hosts made for some quality programming. But not all hosts were the same, there were some hits and misses. Without further ado, I will rank the best hosts from worst to first...

5. Richard Karn - No, no, no. What a terrible decision. Al Borland had no right to be on this show. His whole cache was his flannel shirts, beard, and ability to not be funny on the disaster known as Home Improvement. He was a train wreck from the start. Awful baaaaah, terrible baaaaah.

4. John O'Hurley - I've only seen him host once, but I think he's a good fit. He has the dry wit that makes an entertaining host. I have no idea what's going on with him in the pic above, but I think he's going to have a nice long run as host. Being Peterman on Seinfeld is great but his Dancing With The "Stars" queerness will keep him in the bottom half.
3. Ray Combs - Always entertaining and looked like he had a good time doing the show. He was from Ohio which is cool. He was from the Cincinnati area which is not cool. Killing himself keeps him at #3 as that has been a long standing rule of this blog, no suicides. He looked like he was a midget. Not to mention a Cabbage Patch doll.
2. Richard Dawson - a little before my time but I've seen a lot of clips of his hosting ability and the man was brilliant. A known coke fiend and lover of anything with a vagina, you can see him fidget with his nose a lot on old broadcasts as well as make out with everyone that didn't have a dong. I'd be willing to bet that he nailed 50% of the women contestants. And how 'bout them mutton chops!!! I'm sure this conversation happened a lot during his era:
Director: Where the fuck is Dawson, we're ready to shoot???
Stagehand: Oh, he's in his dressing room with the Jones family. He's plowing the grandma and blowing smack off the granddaughter's ass.
Director: Again?

1. Louie Anderson - I absolutely loved Louie. I don't care about the arrest for blowing some guy in Vegas. I don't. The guy is hilarious. He could barely read, which was groin-grabbingly funny and was more thank likely a nightmare for the director. My favorite part of Louie's reign on the show was all the self-depracating humor that he made about his weight. Example:

Louie: Name something you have for lunch?
Guy: Ham Sandwich!!!
Louie: (wiping away his drool) Oooooooh, I love ham sandwiches!!!
No shit, Louie, you way 450 fucking pounds. Bob Masturbator could've figured out that you like ham sandwiches. And then he would say something that made no sense, something along the lines of:

Louie: Name something you put on your car for the winter?
Guy: Snow tires!!!
Louie: Oooooooh, two of my favorite foods, snow and tires.
Louie, you are great. Congratulations on this honor.

Coming soon!!! March Madness and Baseball previews!!!

1 comment:

saul hudson said...

Truly enjoyed the direction of today's post. The ranking is dead-on...and nothing funnier than blowing smack off of a pre-teen's ass, no matter the situation!