Tuesday, January 02, 2007

"Foxing It Up"



First things first, ever since President Ford was killed by Lloyd Carr's terrible coaching, I can not stop thinking about the hilarious SNL sketch where Tom Brokaw (Dana Carvey) is taping all these different Gerald Ford dies scenarios so whenever it did happen, he would be able to broadcast it. Here's a taste:

"Stunning news from Yorba Linda today, as Richard Nixon's corpse climbed out of his grave and strangled Gerald Ford to death."

Priceless.

Anyway, after last night's amazing Fiesta Bowl, which ranks as the best college football game I've ever seen as the game had EVERYTHING you could ask for, I couldn't help but wonder about how Fox would be handling the rest of the BCS games. Obviously, the team in the booth last night was terrible, even though they were good in the first half. That dumbass Charles Davis, said "they might fake it" before EVERY punt. Well you guys are lucky because I was able to sit in on the FOX BCS production meetings and I am going to let you guys know some of the ideas that were tossed around in that meeting...here we go:

--House (with his gimp) will be the head referee for the BCS championship.

--The halftime show of the Orange Bowl will be Peter Gallagher getting his eyebrows waxed.

--Troy Smith will be replaced by a robot.

--The guys from Prison Break will kidnap Urban Meyer before the game and Fox will offer up either Bones, Michael Rappaport, or Hell's Kitchen's Gordon Ramsay as a replacement.

--Bring in a live, timed nuclear bomb for the Sugar Bowl halftime show and have Keifer Sutherland diffuse it while snipers are firing at him.

--Put an ad for Trading Spouses: Meet Your New Mommy on Charlie Weis's FUPA.

--Have Terry Bradshaw and Howie Long do commentary during the BCS title game...this somehow got approved.

--Have a naked Brad Garrett call plays for Notre Dame.

--Have a voiceover of Randy Jackson yelling "YEAH, DAWG" over the PA after every good play in every game.

--Having absolutely no one available to do the booth for the Orange Bowl, decide to have the voices of Homer Simpson, Peter Griffin, and Stan Smith do the game. I think this would be great personally.

--During the BCS game, have John Walsh do a sideline America's Most Wanted about Maurice Clarett.

--The first team to have a running back get hurt, bring in Polk High's own, AL BUNDY, to replace him.

--Try to find a way to get more robots on the tv screen.

FOX IT UP, BITCH!!!

1 comment:

Tart said...

You can never have too many robots! NEVER!!!