Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Airing of Grievances

I've decided that every once in awhile, I'm going to use my online power to voice the things that are currently pissing me off. I'm sure there are about 500 things, but I'm going to keep it at 5. Let's get started.

1. The Carolina Panthers - easily the worst team to bet on all season, I don't know this for sure but I would bet (get it, it's a pun) that this underachieving shitball team hasn't covered when favored all season. Jake Delhomme is worse than Jordan Van Ausdale.

2. Road Construction/Accidents on Freeways - after almost missing my flight to Florida (dead sprint through the airport/last person to board the plane/almost killing the security broad over saline solution in my bag) due to an accident on US-23 and construction taking up TWO of the three lanes at I-70 and I-75 in Dayton almost causing me to miss tip-off at Millett this past Sunday morning. How can you take up two out of three lanes at one of the biggest freeway crossroads in the country!!! Ridicurous, the rines were crossed.

3. President of the United States of America...Wayne Palmer??? - As the new season of 24 approaches, I am skeptical of the producers making Wayne fucking Palmer president. Wayne Palmer!!! His brother, while well received by us as a better option at Pres than Bush, was mired in fake scandals and was a HUGE target for TV terrorist attacks! Are we supposed to buy that the idiot American public would vote for this guy? I mean, he had an affair with a broad whose husband was killed because of him and the mistress killed herself in front of him because she couldn't deal with the guilt!!! Come on, 24.

4. Tony Romo - Oh my God, do I hate this guy. What's with that goofy smile that he has on his face constantly. I guarantee that this guy plays Dungeons and Dragons and listens to fag bands like Radiohead. I'm so happy that he tanked Sunday night against the Saints (and lost to the Redskins) and am positive that he will KILL the Mexican National Team in the playoffs. He is my least favorite footballer by far now that McNabb is out for the season. For some reason I think Romo and Strut would be best friends...sorry Strut.

5. Christmas Music - I would rather be stuck in a room with Elton John, a sailor suit with a removeable ass-flap, and a bottle of lube than listen to this shit. Which makes suicide a more and more likely option considering that in a week from Friday I have been roped into rocking out to....MANNHEIM STEAMROLLER. A could possibly be able to talk myself into at least quasi-enjoying Trans-Siberian Orchestra, but these guys are like the JV team of Christmas bands. I'm pissed. I might miss Naptown bowling because of this. Christmas music, besides Carol of the Bells, flat out sucks Ron Jeremy's bowed penis.

Enough of that, my blood pressure is now through the roof...and I didn't even get to talk about how my G$FL team went 5-8-1 this season even though I had the 4th highest scoring team (and hung a league high of 116 points on Drew this week). God damn me and my 3 week love affair with Jon Kitna. I will never draft Edge or Cadillac EVER again.

---FYI, Casino Royale is bad ass.

1 comment:

Eb said...

Festivus....Nice play.