Thursday, November 30, 2006

Britney, You Stupid Bitch...

What the hell is going on with Britney Spears??? I was talking with Drew tonight (blog linked to the left) and I think he put it best: "5 years ago, if she had a sex tape out, I would have dropped everything and ran straight to a computer to watch it. Now...I'd still watch it, but only when I had the time."

I couldn't have said it better. In 1998 when Britney came on to the scene causing a massive amount of high school and middle-aged erections, she could do no wrong. She was smoking hot, dressing like a school girl, and shaking that ass like it was nobody's business. Now look at her. She was married to a guy named Jason Alexander (who didn't play George Costanza) for about 20 minutes, married Nobel Prize winner Kevin Federline (who I saw on Monday Night Raw a few weeks ago and sings about Popozao whatever the fuck that is), has had two kids with the aforementioned king of white trash, walks barefoot into a public restroom (which for my money is the most disgusting thing someone could do), and has her less than a year old baby sit on her lap while she drives. It's people like Britney that make me think that all celebrities should have someone with them at all times just to relay common sense to them. Like, I could have been there saying "Look, Britney, I realize you have to drop a serious duke but I really think you should put on shoes when you go into the restroom of a Shell." It just makes sense.

Anyway, you probably are wondering about the picture I found of Professor Spears. Well, we all know that her and K-Fed got divorced. I said earlier that in 1998 she could do no wrong. But, it's 2006, times have changed. Now she's divorced with two kids, hangs out with Paris Hilton, apparently doesn't wear underwear when she goes out, and thusly, likes to showcase her cooter and especially her c-section scar to the paparazzi. How the mighty have fallen.

If I have one thing I could say to Britney, it would be, "Hey, Britney. Nice Vagina."

(This is a blog for families...that's why I won't post the actual pictures. But they're out there and I'll be honest, they're worth a look. Because haven't you always wondered where Kevin Federline buried his dong?)

1 comment:

saul hudson said...

Tough Call on not posting the pics, but your material was a comedic masterpiece.